chapter 16.

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I wake up from my nightmare. I'm sweating and I can hardly breathe. I crawl out of bed and manage to walk downstairs. I take a seat at the kitchen table. A few minutes later Maya joins me.
"Hey." She says.
"Hi." I say.
"What are you doing up? It's almost 3 am." She asks.
"I, uh, just couldn't sleep." Maya doesn't believe me.
"Why don't you believe me?" I ask.
"Well I heard you coming downstairs and you looked like you were having an anxiety attack. Plus, you're sweating. I've also noticed you waking up the past few nights and coming downstairs." Maya's always been able to see right through me.
"I had a nightmare." I'm embarrassed to admit it.
"Do you have them often?" She asks.
"Most nights." I say, shamefully looking down. I walk over to the sink and get a glass of water. Then I grab pills from my pocket.
"What are those?" Maya walks up behind me.
"I call them my relief pills. When I'm about ready to go on stage or preform a solo for my teacher I take these to stop my anxiety attacks." I inform Maya. I've never told anyone about any of my problems, I didn't even tell Louisiana when she asked about my pills.
"Do your parents know about this?" She asks.
"No, I haven't told anyone." I say.
"You've been going through this alone?" She asks.
"Yes." My anxiety had been a secret between me and myself. "And I'd like to continue to go through it alone." I tell Maya.
"Well I won't let that happen." She starts off saying "If you ever wake up in the middle of the night again call me. I'm always going to be here for you to listen." I smile at the thought of having someone to call to for help. I've never felt I've had that before. I never thought I ever would.
"So what were you doing up so late these past few nights Maya?" I ask.
"Uh, well it's too much of a story to bother anyone with."
"I'm here to listen, it's not going to bother me." I let her know.
"Thanks that's nice to know." She begins to tell me her story. "A few weeks ago Lucas told me he hated me. He said that everything I did bothered him and the only reason he dated me was because he wanted to make Riley like him more and thought this was the way to do it. So long story short we broke up and Riley and I aren't talking to him anymore. I'm just really hurt that's all." Maya makes me realize I'm not alone in all this mess of relationships. I give her a hug.
"Thanks." She says.
"I think we both needed that." I say.
"Yeah." For the next few hours we talk to each other about out problems and realize that we aren't alone. Maya is my friend, she is my soulmate. She's the one who has kept me alive and well these last few months. Just knowing that she's doing well was my motivation to keep myself alive.

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