Chapter 4

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I hate feeling very stupid of my self. I hate everything I do. For short I hate my self doing stupid things. Why would I even let things happen like this? Or even tolerate it?
I shouldn't be moping right now about what had happened. If I could just move on and do things like I used to. Like I didn't knew him at all. But it would be weird if I didn't even knew him.

"I should go" I take off his arms that was around me that makes me feel safe. I straightened my clothes and my hair. I wiped the tears that shouldn't be bother to fall because of the stupid reason. Why did I always push myself at something that I didn't fit in? Why do I keep doing it? It just hurt more whenever I get rejected by the choice I have chosen.

"Bella...No...No...No..." I can hear the agony in his voice and the pain in his eyes. "I can't do this again and again Edward" I said refraining myself from sobbing. What I don't understand is why can't I stop my tears from falling! He tried to reach for me but I run towards my daughter. "Renesmee we need to go" I hold my hand out for her to reach "are you leaving us again mommy?" Lily asked. I was frozen at my place. I can't move forward. The door is just a few feet away but I can't walk towards it.

The wooden doors where open in an instance. "Granny!Granpy" Lily run towards Carlisle and Esme and of course my four years old daughter copied her sister again.
"Oh god!" Esme gasp at the scene she was seeing.I don't like people looking at me with pity. I hate it!

Before I met him I was so strong and now I was the opposite. Love is my weakness. Not just me. It's everyone's weakness.

"Esme, Carlisle.. I-I need to le-leave" I said with pleading eyes. I can't do this anymore. In any minute she'll be here. "You're not leaving!" Edward's angry voice made Esme's eyes widen. Even Carlisle's. I didn't heard that voice even when I left. Yes he's angry but his voice was sad. I didn't look at him I was afraid hearing his angry voice what would I feel If I see his face?

"Son..." Carlisle look at me and nodded
"Let Bella go with Esme we need to talk"
"Come dear, Lily?" Esme called. I was thankful that they arrive. I was sobbing on our way to their mansion. I didn't even care leaving my car just in the parking lot.

Renesmee was asleep and so was lily. We carried them both to lily's room. "This is we're lily stays when Edwards's on business trip with Carlisle." My eyes wonder all around the room seeing the wall are painted baby pink. There are flowers and butterfly stickers that was stick just above the headboard of the queen size bed. The furnitures are white. Even the doors are also white. There are some picture frames on the bedside table. And a violet lamp. The room is perfect for a girl.

Isn't a queen size bed too big just for her?
As I stare at the bed with my two little angels sleeping Esme answered the question inside my head. "Edward sleep here with her sometimes" Esme smiled. "Edward didn't go in his since you left Bella"

"Why?" Why would he?

"His room is full of you. Full of your pictures."

"Why didn't he just threw it away?" Out of curiosity I asked. Why would he?
"You know why Bella" Esme winked at me. I was shocked. I was sobbing right this moment and she's winking at me trying making the moment happy

Closing the door silently I knew that I'll be having a mother to daughter talk with her. And I knew that Carlisle is doing the same with Edward at the office.

"Bella..."

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Hi guys! This chapter is short and Im sorry to say that I'll have a break in writing this story for a while. Don't worry what I meant was I won't be having a proper schedule in uploading a new chapter. But I'll upload when I can. I've been busy this past few days and will be for the next few weeks and Christmas is coming! Can't believe it! Time sure flies fast.

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