Hard Light (NaNoWriMo15)

Chapter 16 - Explanations

Shade could feel Leah trembling the entire way out of the ruins.

She barely seemed to be breathing, with only slight, shaky breaths sucked between her lips every few seconds. There were a few superficial cuts on her neck, but she was fine. She was just shocked. She was fine.

He just had to keep telling himself that so he wouldn't turn around and punch his frustrations out on Ash and his smug-ass face.

Shade held onto her until they were out of the tunnel and surrounded by night. Leah's crystals were gleaming on her skin, throwing weird shadows through the trees around them as he took her to a small clearing hidden from the tunnel entrance. He couldn't carry her the whole way back to the League, but she needed a minute to recover.

He put her on her feet, and when he was sure she was stable, let her stagger away from him.

Leah's fists were at her throat when she spoke.

"You..." Her voice was raspy. Shade's guilt jerked as he waited for her to figure out her question. "They were going to kill me. They--they were going to kill me, and you work with them!"

He stepped forward. "Leah--"

She flinched.

He stopped.

"They're Lightless!" Leah's back hit the tree, her eyes wide. "You brought me straight into them an--Oh, oh sunlight, please. Please tell me you aren't like them."

He didn't know what to tell her. He spread his arms apologetically. "Sorry."

One hand flew to her forehead as disgust took over her features. The silence stretched the space between them. It wasn't anything Shade hadn't lived through before, this rejection, the familiar fear and hatred that came with being Lightless, but coming from Leah, it hurt.

"I trusted you," she whispered. Her hand flew to her forehead. "I trusted you, and you were using me the whole damned time!"

"I wasn't using you," Shade tried. "If anything, I was enabling--"

But Leah was shaking head. "No. No, you lied to me. You're a monster. A parasite-infested monster."

Shade took his eyes to the ground, resisting the urge to recoil as if she'd physically struck him. It took a moment before he found his voice, but when he did, it came out so soft he barely heard it himself.

"You wouldn't be talking to me if you truly believed that, Leah."

She didn't push the point, and it was enough for him to believe that she'd regretted the words. "I can't believe I didn't realise. I can't believe I trusted you."

"You still can," said Shade. Everything about tonight was a mistake. Everything. "Leah, I'm not using you. I never wanted you to get hurt."

When she didn't reply, he found the strength to lift his eyes back to hers to find Leah's stare pinning him down. The moment dragged on, and he could tell she was evaluating. Assessing.

"If that's true," she said. "If I can still trust you, then prove it. Show me your face. If I can trust you, you should be able to trust me, too."

The one thing he couldn't do. The one thing he couldn't explain why it was impossible. "I can't do that."

"Then don't ask the same thing of me," she whispered.

He swore. "Leah, Lightless aren't monsters. Not like the Shattered are. We still have our minds, our--"

"They were going to kill me!"

"They were scared!" said Shade, unable to stop himself. He couldn't explain his mask, but maybe he could explain something else. "One of our safehouse regions was recently raided by the Radiants--and you know what's going to happen to them? They're going to be brought to the League, and they're going to be experiments. They aren't Shattered. They aren't monsters--they're people, and unless we rescue them, they're going to be tortured by your research team until they die or truly Shatter!"