Hard Light (NaNoWriMo15)

Chapter 17 - Mistakes

Leah stumbled her way through the courtyard and back down the sun tunnel, earning herself more than one scrape on the way down.

She lost her footing in the sloped tunnel and slid the rest of the way down with zero semblance of control. It spat her out, toppling over the narrow shelf and dumping her onto the floor in an ungraceful pile.

She couldn't bring herself to stand up straight away. She laid there, listening to her breathing, trying to stem the adrenaline flooding her system.

Shade was a Lightless.

Looking back on it, she should have realised. Making her drive the glider. Ensuring she wouldn't ask him to Light the crystals in the ruins. She'd just assumed that he didn't have enough Radiant blood to harden Light and had ignored the issue, but apparently he didn't have it at all. Where did that even leave them?

She was too numb to let herself cry, too shocked to do anything but process everything, to try and make some semblance of sense from it.

If Shade were Lightless, he was a parasite-controlled monster. What had Emrys said when he'd showed her the League's captive Lightless? Lightless were no longer Radiants. They had lost their Light and most of their mind to the parasite. She'd believed him.

You need to stop believing what everyone tells you and think for yourself. That's what Shade had said, but it worked both ways. If she didn't take Emrys's words at face value, then neither could she take Shade's--no matter how much she wanted to.

Shade wasn't a monster. That much she knew as much as she needed Light to survive. That, or this parasite was much more Radiant than they'd ever believed, and judging from the Shattered, that wasn't the case. That said, the other Lightless had been ready to kill her. She had the marks on her neck to prove it, but if it was as Shade had said, that they were simply scared, then didn't that explain their quick resort to violence?

Yet... Wasn't that what the Radiants were already doing to the Lightless?

It wasn't like that now, but Leah knew from her history books that the League's approach to Lightless was radical when it was first introduced. Before them, Lightless were simply killed in an attempt to contain the parasite. Capturing them for study was considered dangerous, but over time, it had become practice.

Leah kept reasoning it out, trying to make sense of something, to find some kind of endpoint, some ground she didn't feel would crumble under her feet but nothing came. Something was missing. Just like she'd been lacking reference material for decoding the symbols, she was lacking knowledge of the other Lightless now. She knew one of them, but how well did he represent his group? Was he special, was he resistant? She had no idea, and really, there was only one way she would ever find out.

Leah picked herself up from the floor and walked back to her room, her thoughts spinning right until sleep drained them out of her head.

*+*+*+*

The next morning, Leah brought her breakfast back to her room and prepared.

This might be tantamount to suicide, but she had to know, and she had to do it before her resolve cracked. She needed to know more about the Lightless, and if her suspicion that Shade wasn't an anomaly among them was wrong, she was probably going to die in the next few hours.

Dressed with another small satchel packed with basic supplies and a notebook, Leah strapped her Hilt to her belt and left her bedroom. She'd been sure it'd been in her bag last night, but after finding it on her dresser, she guessed she'd accidentally left it behind without realising. 

She headed for League's front gate, something which she was yet to use. It ended up being a huge, arching corridor with several guards out the front who stopped her.