Story so far (Akashi Seijuro)

Chapter 17

We stood outside, in the middle of nowhere but near enough from the Inn where we stayed for two nights.

In our front was the highway were few cars passed by here and there.

I gazed up, the sun was too high, too bright, something that contradicted the situation I had with a certain someone.

Seijuro-kun...

For the umpteenth time, I stole a glance to the person beside me.

He was properly standing beside me while holding his bag, keeping his eyes in our front, as if he was carefully looking or checking the sight he had.

Since I woke up this morning until now, I had repeatedly asked him what was the meaning of that thing that happened last night.

But no answer nor explanation was given. Who was I to fool? Even I knew what it could mean yet I refused to believe it. It could have been something else, I'd tell myself. I'd rather play dumb than to admit the possibility of it even though it was all clear.

As we walked our way at this place, he didn't utter any words. He just kept his distance from me, walking two steps ahead. And I was left with no other choice but to contemplate the situation as I stared at his back. Thinking thousands of reasons and what ifs that his decision might turn in my favor.

But as I looked at him, I couldn't sense any hesitation. He was just in his casual mode, didn't seem bother with anything at all.

He told me that there would be two drivers coming to fetch us.

"Why two?" I asked and he answered me that we would be going separately.

Ah...he's making it obvious now.

No...

.

.

We were waiting for almost 15 minutes already as the silence engulfed between us.

I had thought a lot of topics to use just to ease this awkwardness going around but before I could even begin, he would automatically looked at me with his cold eyes that as if telling me to remain the same, just quiet, like him.

But I refused to follow that, I had disobeyed him a lot of times already and this time would be one of that.

I swallowed hard, planning to make another attempt to start a conversation when all of a sudden, he spoke.

"When I get back, I'll talk to our father to inform them that I'm going to cut this whole marriage thing."

Hearing it immediately sent coldness to my body as I quickly tilted my head to eye him. "What?" I asked, my lips arched up a little, nervously. Is this a joke?

"I am going to end this ridiculous situation of us." He replied coldly, still without looking at me even although I was already facing him.

I breathed briefly while digesting his words in my head.

End...

I swallowed before cracking a small laugh.

I wondered, why I felt so cold but at the same I was sweating.
I wiped my forehead gently. "Wow...is this a...um, new way...of i-insulting me, or..perhaps...a k-kind of...joke?" I said, stuttering.

"No." he turned to face me, finally.
"Get this clearly on your mind Izumi. I am not going to marry you."

How...

As if there was a knot inside my chest, it was getting hard to breath.

...could you say it so normally as that..?

Damn, why am I feeling this.

I swallowed harder this time, my throat was somewhat aching.

I opened my mouth, my hands starting to shake.

"You-" I tried, I really did. But I couldn't utter a word as if my mind lost the ability to think properly because there were so much things going on inside. I didn't know which one should I think first. I suddenly found myself unable to speak, or even if I did, I'd probably end up mixing terms and such.

I exhaled a big air again. "Why..." I trailed off, seemed like that was all of it but not enough, I needed to say more.

My vision of him was getting blurry, as the tears forced to come out.

I bit my lips as I dropped the bag from my hands, quickly rubbing my eyes.

My face was definitely crumpled right now yet I couldn't careless about that.

I asked him again. "Why...are you saying that to me?" My tune was almost a whisper.

He sighed as if he was bored of this, "My decision, this is it Izumi." He stated plainly.

How could you act like it is just so simple...?

I huffed, tilting my head as much as I could just to hinder the tears from falling. "Why now?" These tears that were pleading to come out was the reason why it was so hard to speak. I felt like my throat was being strangled.

"Get that back..." I fought to steady my voice.

My hands slowly moving towards him, trying to reach him, to remind him that he was being unfair.

We were doing fine for the past days, it may not be all the time but I knew, there were moments where I knew he felt it, that I loved him, way too much. Why must he have do this?

I held his arms as tight as I could, "...I'm annoying, is that it? It's okay. I'll stop...just don't-" I flinched when he shoved me gruffly.

"Stop this Izumi." He ordered, frowning.

"No!" I forced a hug on him, "No...Please no..." I said burying my face on the side of his neck.

I could feel that he was pushing me away but I fought the pressure, I didn't want to let go.

Because if I did, that would be the end.

"I'm begging you, don't do this..."

He clicked his tongue in dismay. "They are here." He uttered and grasped my arms as he removed it from him.

With that, he went ahead inside the car without looking back.

Awful...

How awful...

My eyes cried all out, silently, as I watched him disappear.

"Yanagi-san, please get on the car." The driver said as he opened the door.

The driver lowered his head when I looked at him, offering a piece of handkerchief in my front.

My hand was still shaking when I accepted it.

I went inside and we headed back, back to my hotel.