7)Be Blessed

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A loud, very loud, very very loud gunshot sounded off, I fell to the floor. What the hell just happened to me?

My eyes drenched with tears. The knife sat on the floor next to me, I had it grasped in my hand so tight that it was completely impossible for someone to take it without me knowing.

My eyes didn't open, not once. I didn't want to know what happened. I didn't feel or see Saint, I didn't want to.

I felt mama singing to me in a faraway distance but close enough for me to hear. I heard my momma singing that lullaby that I love, the one I can still manage to suck my thumb, curl up like a baby, and go to sleep to.

I wanted to touch momma's long and pretty hair, and her soft gentle hands. I hoped poppa would be right there too. Poppa would cradle me, and make me feel like I needed no other man than him.

I reached out to touch Miguel too. Whom loved me and protected me. He was my army. I wanted to see and touch his face once more. I reached and reached for all of their faces.

Come, let's sing a little lullaby, come, let's sing a little
My baby girl is sleepy, blessed be, blessed be
Come, let's sing a little lullaby, come, let's sing a little

My baby girl is sleepy, blessed be, blessed be
Little spring running clear and loud
Nightingale that in the forest
Sings and weeps
Hush, while the cradle rocks
Come, let's sing a little lullaby Mariana

Come, let's sing a little lullaby Mariana
Come, let's sing a little Mariana

My baby girl is sleepy, blessed
Be, Blessed be

Little spring running clear and loud
Nightingale that in the forest
Sings and weeps
Hush, while the cradle rocks

Come, let's sing a little lullaby

I listened to momma's voice, I hummed along to momma's voice. I listened, and closely I felt them, then touched them, I touched them all. The three who I thought I'd never be able to love again has been right here all along.

I was dazed, I didn't want to wake from them, or the sweet dream.

My lips kissed each of them on the foreheads, I whispered te amo to each of them.

I thought I was dead, I mean, I couldn't move or see, because my body felt like it was on ice.

My body shook and shook, like a tumble in a machine, it wouldn't stop. My senses started to come back. I smelled a man, I taste cool fresh water, I saw and heard nothing, but I felt that shake.

The picture of my family dazed away, I saw a light and a face. It was Saint's face. He looked so fierce (like always). His muscles were tense on my soft skin.

I realized he was shaking me. He shook me awoke. My family wasn't here.

"Mariana, are you okay?" asked Saint. He patted down my whole body, over, and over again.

"Mariana Hernandez talk to me." Saint's voice was still stern, his hold was still tight.

I was ready to answer, I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

I was in the kitchen, on the floor of the luxurious apartment. The marble floors and the painted drawers were all the same.

"Mariana, you blacked out!" Saint pulled me to my feet, but I could barely stand so I sat.

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