things that happen on wattpad

the bad boy

Oh mY fUckIng gOd

the most overused thing in literature of all time.

always a player. slept with about 9000000 people and somehow hasn't contracted an STD.

literally sees girl who has slept with two guys and laughs and says "slut".

dick bigger than the tower I ain't talking bout Eiffels.

raises his eyebrows so often that they fly off his forehead and create a new species of birds. I'm pretty sure that that's how the eagle became the U.S. mascot; because Thomas Jefferson was such a fuckboy his eyebrows flew off and lo and behold the first eagle. (but in all seriousness, the fucking nazi's used the eagle. we probably should have listened to my boy B. Franky and used the turkey).

always a rich greasy white boy.

a dick around everyone but his mommy because the author needs to show that he has an ounce of human decency (hint: he doesn't)

always making the girl feel guilty for his behavior, which is nearly always fUCKING PREDATORY. LITERALLY IF YOU GUYS WANT A GUIDE ON HOW NOT TO TREAT GIRLS - JUST READ THESE STORIES AND YOURE SET.

he does drugs every three seconds. like ohmygodstop. drugs are fucking harmful, and can ruin your life, so let's stop romanticizing then please.

his blonde cheerleader girlfriend, but always cheats on her. then the girlfriend always forgives him. like, literally no girl is like that ???¿¿??¿? cheating is disgusting and unforgivable¿¿???? nothing excuses the intentional act of betraying someone who you're supposed to be treating like a fucking princess?¿??¿¿¿??? girls do not act like this??????

fUCKING STAR OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM LIKE YOU ARE DOING ABOUT 69 DIFFERENT DRUGS AND PUTTING YOURSELF AT RISK FOR STDS EVERY WEEK YOU DO NOT GET KEPT IN HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS TEAMS WHILE DOING THAT I KNOW A STORY ABOUT A CHICK WHO GOT KICKED OFF HER HIGH SCHOOL SOFTBALL TEAM FOR TAKING A TINY SIP OF WINE FROM HER FRIENDS JUST TO TRY IT ONCE THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

also with the whole drug thing, you cannot have 'gorgeous tan skin and a rock hard eight pack' while getting high every night. you get small, pale, and skinny. can we please stop romanticizing harmful substances? thank you.