1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3 drink, Throw 'em back, till I lose count...
He was a mess when I met him. A man lost in a nightmare, with no place to escape. His demons beside him always, killing him slowly from the inside out.
I found him in late January, freezing his ass off in the feet of snow and high as hell. He wobbled as we walked to my car, his body trembling from the cold and who knows how many substances in him.
He didn't speak a word; just sat there with blankets wrapped tightly around him, and his eyes bloodshot and weak.
Eventually he came down from his high and his body adjusted to the heat, and that's when he spoke. Just two words; but some of the most powerful.
"Help me."
I worked at a rehabilitation center; how he knew that... I don't know. But part of me likes to believe that it was fate. Fate for me to find him and brought into my care.
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier, I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist, Like it doesn't exist...
The first few months were the worst, and the hardest I've ever seen a person struggle. And that's saying a lot for me, and the things I see in a week.
The pain was real with him, and it spread to anyone who grew close to him. I could feel it, the agony penetrating into me and touching my heart with an iron brand.
He said very little, his mind healing and having to get in touch with his emotions again. His eyes; as they collected their color again, told most of what he was thinking or what he wanted to say.
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry...
The day that he told me his name was a major break through. One that gave me a new sense of hope, and I think gave him the hope that he had lost.
He opened up to me more and more that following month. Telling me about himself, and all about his shitty life. How a man with so many things going for him, fell- and fell hard.
There was something about him, and maybe it was just the fact that he was improving but I saw something in him. The fight, the drive. He wanted to get better. This wasn't his life, or the life that he wanted.
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier...
But sometimes our devils have such a grip on us, that they drag us back down just as we reach that peak.
He relapsed five months in, and crashed hard- Having to start the process over again.
But this time it almost seemed easier?? If that was even possible. Maybe it was because we already knew each other, or maybe it was because of the new found trust between us both.
Whatever the reason, he knew something was different this time around too. It was still very hard, but he told me that he knew he could do it. Because he had done it once before and because he had me.
And I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes...
It was four months after his relapse, that something inside me grew. The way I looked at him changed, and the way I felt about him changed.
When I was around him, my heart would beat faster- as if it was going to jump right out of my chest. I looked at him longer, being drawn in by his eyes and physical features. Things that didn't affect me like this months earlier.
I got more nervous when I spoke to him, butterflies erupting in my stomach and lumps in my throat. It was then that I realized that I had feelings for him. Real feelings.
Cause I'm just holding on for tonight, Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight...
It was the day that he was getting discharged from the rehabilitation center that something miraculous happened. Something I would have never seen coming.
I was getting him ready to sign all the papers when he grabbed my face and kissed me. I was startled at first, but eventually leaned into it and kissed him back.
I didn't see him again after that day, but I could still feel the touch of his lips on mine. He sent me a card though, one year around Christmas time. When the flurrying snow fell outside.
"You saved my life."
"You were sent to me in my darkest hour, like an angel sent to the depths of hell."
"You didn't leave me, you stood by my side in my weakest times."
"You never gave up on me. Even when I had given up on myself."
"I can never repay you for all you did for me."
It was that Christmas that I answered the door to find him standing there. All bundled up with a slight smile on his face.
It was that Christmas... that year... that I found my soulmate. And two years later, we're happily married.
Who'd have thought that that day I found him, it would restart my life. That it would bring someone into my life and would forever play a big part in my future.
