Summer Love

19 || ...If I Told you I Loved you

I sigh as I walk into my house. Two-bit looks up at me, "what's wrong with you?"

I look over at him and shrug, "uh it's nothing. I just bumped into Sodapop. He's dating a girl named Kendall and he loves her, like really loved her."

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm trying to hold it together," I chuckle. "I mean like I'm not on the verge of a break down like last time, but it hurts."

He walks over to me and hugs me, "hey you have less than three weeks here, so lets not freak out. You need to have some fun this summer."

I look away from Two-bit tears building behind my eyes, "this summer was anything, but fun. I mean I love it here, but...I don't know Two, I'm rambling."

"What wrong?" He asks.

"I don't want to go home," I speaks softly. "I want to stay here forever. I haven't talked to my mom in forever. This is crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. I love it here Two. I love you. I love Jilly....I even love dad and Nikki the two people I hated most. I love them and I don't know what to do. I can't just stay here."

He walks up to me and places his hand on my shoulder looking deep into my eyes, "Lacey, I grew up my whole life hearing about you. In my eyes you were this awesome little girl who was two years younger than me. I used to beg my dad to meet you and now I finally have. I get to meet my little sister who is just as great if not better than the person I imagined. She's getting taken away from me, but you know what, you're gonna be back. I love you Lace and if there's one thing I know about you. No matter how hard life gets, you keep going. So just keep going and you'll be back, you'll be okay. Believe me. Fight for what you want Lace and know I believe in you."

"What if I'm tired though Two?" I ask him. "I'm so tired of fighting for happiness. I just want to be happy. I don't want to fight."

He pulls me in for a hug, "Lace, you're one of the strongest people I know. If you stop fighting, you'll never be happy. In two years you'll be living down here."

I nod my head, "yeah and then what?"

He sighs, "I don't know Lace, I wish I could tell you that you're gonna be happy. I don't know though.Who knows what life brings us? Although, I know you'll be okay."

"Maybe," I sigh as I look away. "Although probably not because, Two-bit I'm pregnant."

I hear a slight gasp, "Sodapop?"

I shake my head, "no, some guy named Jake. We hooked up and we were drunk and I think I'm pregnant."

He walks over to me and before I know what's going on there's a burning sting on my cheek. I look up at Two-bit who has his hand raised in the air. I place my hand on the red print on my cheek, "get out of here Lacey before something happened that neither of us want to happen."

"Two-bit-" I whisper.

He shakes his head, "just go Lacey."
***
I show up at the one place I know I is safe. I walk over and knock on the door even though I can just walk in. The door creaks open and I'm face to face with Sodapop, "Lacey?"

"Hey," I take a deep breathe.

"Come in," he smiles.

I take a step in to see some of the gang, "I really ruined this gang...didn't I?"

He shakes his head, "no, come on and sit down."

"Hey," Steve speaks softly.

"Hey," I smile sadly. "I should of never joined this gang. You guys are divided now. I mean there's Jilly, Spence, Dally, Two, and I. Then there's Darry, Steve, Johnny, Pony, and Soda. I'm sorry guys."

"Why are you here?" Soda asks. "I'm happy you are, but why?"

"I'm pregnant," I say ashamed, "and Two-bit slapped me because, I told him and he doesn't think I can do it."

"What about Jake?" Soda asks.

I sigh as I look away from him tears filling my eyes, "I lied. I mean there is a Jake and we hooked up, but I lied, we're not  an item."

He nods his head as he steps forward, "do you love me?"

I take a deep breathe sighing, "Sodapop..."

"Do you love me?" He asks.

"What difference would it make if I told you I loved you?" I ask him sadly.

He takes another step forward looking me down as he breathes softly, "all the difference in the word Lacey."

I shake my head, "it wouldn't change a thing Sodapop because, I don't trust you and we can't date. If we could, we'd still be together."

"Then why are you here Lacey?" He asks. "You could of gone to Jilly's or Spencer's or even Dally's. So why me?"

"Because Sodapop, I had to see you," I look over at him. 

He presses his lips against mine and for I second I fall back in love with him as I press my small body against his, but then I abruptly push him off me, "Lacey?"

"I'm sorry," I sigh.

"Do you love me?" He asks again.

"No," I lie. "I don't love you Sodapop."

He fights back tears as what's left of the gang watches everything fall apart, "then I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you Lace. I'm sorry for doing whatever I did to make you hate me so much. I'm sorry Lace! Okay?"

 I blink away tears, "Soda please stop."

"Why?" He asks. "So you can rip my heart out again?"

"How do you think I feel?" I yell at him. "You kissed Holly."

"To make her leave!" He screams.

I shake my head as I look at him, "why would you say that Sodapop?"

He looks up at me, "because it's true."

A few tears slide down my cheeks, "you're lying! Why are you lying to me?"

"Lacey, just listen to me!" He screams.

"I don't want to listen to you!" I scream fighting through tears. "I don't want to be hurt by you again! Okay Sodapop? You really hurt me."

He sighs, "I'm sorry."

I shake my head, "I don't know why I even came here."

"Don't go," he begs.

"Why should I stay?" I ask.

He looks down, "the only thing I can think of is so we can be friends."

"We can never be friends now Sodapop because, we'll always be fighting," I speak truthfully as I sob. "We'll never be able to just be friends...Goodbye Sodapop, I'll catch ya around Tulsa."

"Aren't you leaving in three weeks?" He asks.

I turn around nodding my head, "September second at two-thirty on the train station I came in on. I'm starting school the next day."

I wonder why she was so specific...Is that weird or is it just me? I don't know and I know you don't. Stay gold. Do it for Johnny!

-Beth