Empathy [Josh Dun - Twenty One Pilots]

ELEVEN

"Please, let this not be true."

Josh kept repeating the words as a mantra while running around his room feverishly. Raising his hands to his head, running his fingers through his hair like it could help him think faster, he tried thinking of all the times he and Tyler had talked about his "powers", but everything was blurry. Trying to calm down, Josh finally sat down on his bed. After a few seconds, he knew what he had to do. Slowly, as if trying to avoid a rush of adrenaline but failing miserably, he picked up the books Tyler had offered him and put it in his backpack after ridding it of all its school supplies. He wouldn't need them for now.

When he was done, Josh glanced around his room one last time and closed the door behind him. He went downstairs, focusing on his breathing so as not to worry his mother, and found her in the kitchen.

"Mom?" He asked as casually as he could. "I heard Tyler came by?"

His mom smiled at him and approached him, visibly worried.  She put a hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling any better?" She asked concerned, searching for any sign of temperature on her son's skin. "You still look very tired..."

"I'm okay, mom." Josh replied with as much enthusiasm as he could. "I was thinking I could go to Tyler's so he could help me with my homework." With a sign, he pointed to his full bag. 

She looked taken aback for a second, but she quickly pulled a smile. "Be home for dinner?"

Josh nodded and was out the door before she had the time to add anything else. He perfectly knew she didn't believe him on that one. He had felt it. She probably didn't inquire much because she didn't like it when they fought, and if the situation was any different, Josh would have felt a little guilty. But his mind was focused on one person and one person only: his best friend. 

Josh walked past his mom's car and hesitated for a second. He could feel the key inside his pocket and he could definitely use it because he knew his mom wasn't against his driving when she didn't need it. But Josh kept walking. He needed some time to think. What he was about to ask Tyler would change everything. It was about to shift their whole relationship, either for the better or the worse. So he needed to make sure he had thought this through. And now that he actually thought of it, his guess seemed pretty obvious. Josh didn't understand how he had never actually questioned this before. But at the same time, every part of his body and mind wished he was wrong.

When he finally got to Tyler's place, Josh couldn't wait to talk to his best friend; there was no more place for anger and guilt, he just wanted his friend back. But as impatient as he was, seeing Mrs Joseph struggle to carry a few grocery bags from her car to the house made him slow down.

"Hi Mrs Joseph," He said gently, making her smile in surprise. "Need a hand?" Without waiting for an answer, he took out two of the bags from the open trunk and waited for her to close it before heading towards the door.

"Thank you, dear!" She said lightly, and she sounded just like his mom. Josh followed her towards the kitchen where they dropped the bags. Immediately, Mrs Joseph offered him a drink and he sat down on a stool while she started to put away the groceries. The boy wondered where his best friend was but knew it would have been rude to inquire about him so fast. 

"So how are you holding up?" She asked with the same worried look his mom had given him not even an hour ago. Following his confused stare, she added "I heard that boy Mark was a good friend of yours?"

Oh. Once again, guilty rushed over him. He was so caught up in his own problem that he had almost forgotten about the way worse things in life other were experiencing. And that included Mark, Josh was sure of it. And suddenly, the need to talk to Tyler felt more present than ever, because Josh knew it would help Mark, one way or another.