Love and the Sea and Everything in Between

chapter six

The sun begins to set now. Liz and I have spent the last few hours just driving.

At some point, Liz announced, "We're gonna play 20 Questions."

And at some point, I think we exceeded the twenty-question limit.

"What's your favorite color?" she asks.

"Black," I answer. "What's your middle name?" My phone plays Fall Out Boy in the background and my fingers tap the steering wheel to the beat of the music.

"I don't actually have a middle name."

"Really? Is there a story behind that?"

"Not really," she shrugs. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her lean into the corner between the seat and the door as she props her feet up on the dash.

"C'mon. There's gotta be a story behind something as socially anti-norm as not having a middle name."

"Well, my parents used to be hippies and when I was born they didn't want to subject me to the confusion that comes with having multiple identities. Friends and family call you by your first name or a nickname. Most parents say your full name when you're in trouble. Teachers call you by your last name. And so on. But my parents? They just wanted one identity for me. Something like that, anyway."

"See, I told you there was a story." I smile at her.

She laughs. "What is your favorite song?"

"See, now that's an impossible question to answer. Music is the lyrical breathing of the wandering soul. But every breath tells a different story. So how can I choose just one? How can I choose one breath over all the thousands of breaths I have ever breathed? How can I choose just one?" I suddenly miss my songwriting. I miss the happier days when it was just me, my guitar, and my music journal. But those days are gone now.

"I don't think that counts as an answer," she laughs.

"Okay. For now, I'll choose 'Awake My Soul.' Mumford and Sons."

"Good choice," she says.

"Good song," I say.

"Play it."

I hand her my phone and she scrolls through my iTunes library until she finds the right one and it begins to play.

We drive into the orange glow of a tunnel, basking in the music as it floods the atmosphere inside the van.

I feel it now, what the song is saying. I feel the lyrics inside me, filling me, becoming me.

And I wish that I wasn't driving just so I could feel Liz's fingertips against mine again. And I begin to question everything I'd ever thought I needed. I begin to question my future and plans. Because with her, now, here beside me, this moment is all I need. This is all I want.

I know now that I would spend an eternity bearing this pain if it meant I might sit beside her for just a day.

Just a day is all I need.

Just a day...

I turn off the road. It's dark out now and we're in the middle of nowhere – the empty space between cities and towns.

I drive onto the beach and park in the middle of the sand.

I slip my shoes and socks off and open the door. I slide out of my seat and let my feet sink into the still-warm sand. I walk to the other side and slide the back door open, pulling out a blanket. My eyes linger on my guitar a moment before I grab it and swing the strap over my shoulder. Then, I open her door and extend my hand to her. She smiles and folds her hand into mine.