Love and the Sea and Everything in Between

chapter thirty-five

My eyes flutter open and my vision is immediately awash with sterile, white light. I imagine this is what it might be like when the dead first step into heaven, brilliantly, blindingly bright.

My vision adjusts and I see Adam's parents sitting beside me, their arms around each other. Everything comes back to me in a flood and I feel suddenly overwhelmed as I remember something. "How's Adam?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

"He's still in emergency care. Adam isn't dead, but... he's in a coma," Mrs. West says, giving my hand a squeeze – perhaps more for her sake than for mine.

He's not dead, but he's in a coma. It takes me a while to work up the courage to ask what happened.

Mr West says, "The maid found him in a motel tub, bleeding out," she whispers, her lips pursed. "His wrists were slashed. She called the police who called us. We got here as soon as possible. That's when we called you."

Sitting up in my chair, my brow furrowed, I ask, "How did the maid find him?"

"It was lucky, really. He forgot to put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. She didn't know the room was occupied."

Sitting there, I'm stunned by the chance of it all. "So what's going on, then?"

"They've stabilized him for now. He was in," Mr. West takes a sharp breath, "pretty bad condition when they brought him in."

"Can we see him?"

"The nurse says she'll let us know," Mrs. West answers. "It may be awhile."

So we wait. We wait in this sterile, God-forsaken hospital waiting area surrounded by the sick and the dying and we wait for our turn to see Adam.

After what feels like an eternity, the nurse comes out, her eyes tired and her body sagging. "You may see him now."

All three of us stand to follow her, but the nurse points at me. "She can't come."

"She's his girlfriend," Mrs. West says.

I almost correct her, but I don't bother.

"I'm sorry. Family only."

Mrs. West looks at me. "It's okay," I say. "Go. I'll be fine. Go see your son."

She smiles and gives me a hug and then they follow the nurse away.

Sitting back down, my mind begins to retrace every interaction between Adam and I. It always felt like he was running from something. And now I know what it is.

He was running from his own destruction.

Adam, I think. I'm so sorry.

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