One Life (Phan)

11 (Dan)

"Dan... what are we going to do?"

The question replays in the back of my mind. The one question I have no answer to. As I look down at a sleeping Naki, I begin to wonder if I should turn back and leave her. But a nagging feeling

(love)

in the back of my head is telling me that I need her, if not then she needs me.

I tried to see if I could get a refund on my Oyster card, but the man at the booth glared at me, answering, "Is that what you waited in line for thirty minutes to ask me? You can't get a refund on an Oyster card."

I left the station, defeated. Naki saw the look on my face, and didn't say anything. Instead, we made plans to walk to Hucknall.

Why does she need to go there?

Another question. Jesus, do I always have this many?

I don't know. And maybe she doesn't know either. She could be running away as well. I don't know, and I don't need to know. It's her business.

But don't you think she would tell you if she really trusts you?

And so what if she doesn't trust me? What does that have to do with me?

You're travelling across England with her. At some point, she's going to have your life in her hands, like you did yesterday. What would she do if she didn't trust you?

At that, my breath caught in my throat. But wouldn't she trust me after I saved her life?

Would you?

Considering the situation, yes!

Did you save her because you didn't want her to die or because you needed someone to travel with?

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Naki stirred next to me. I put my hands out in front of me and focus on them, trying to stop them from shaking. I don't shake so violently, but I'm still jittery.

You saved her because you love her.

That thought nearly jolted me out of my seat. Where did that come from?

I love Phil. 

No, you don't.

Yes. I love Phil, and he loves me.

You left him without a hesitation. Now you won't leave Naki to go back to him.

I don't love Naki. I love Phil. He's who I fell for. I'm only confused. And it's not Phil I'm reluctant to leave Naki for, it's my life that lies in that flat. Naki is just an acquaintance.

Naki opens her bright eyes and looks at me. I smile hesitantly. Her eyes sparkle back before closing again.

I sigh and pull my knees up to my chest. I rest my forehead on my left knee and keep it there, letting unconsciousness take it's hold over me.

---

"Dan..."

I look back at him, averting my gaze from my laptop. We're at Phil's house, sitting in his room. I am on the beanbag. Phil was stretched out on the floor to my right, but now he's sitting up. I can tell he's nervous.

"What, Phil?"

"How long have we known each other?"

I look back at him, confused. "I don't know... three years?"

Phil nods, and then turns his head away from me, chewing his lip. I stare at his beautiful face a moment longer before returning back to my laptop.

I go on Facebook and search through my feed. Then I feel something warm on the side of my cheek.

I turn to see Phil, smirking. Then he drops his grin and looks away. I realize with surprise that he'd kissed me.

"Oh God, I've screwed things up now, haven't--"

I pull him towards me and press my lips against his. His lips are soft and gentle. I grab my laptop off of my lap and place ext to me, replacing it with Phil. We pull away, and his eyes sparkle. Our foreheads and noses touch, and I stare into his beautiful face. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Then I kiss him again, his hands snaking up my back and to the back of my head. My stomach explodes with fireworks, and I can tell he feels the same way.

His face heats up when we pull away a second time. I want to pull him back in, but instead he rests his head on my right shoulder. I hold him, my arm around his waist. I melt into his figure, and I feel like I'm the happiest person alive.