"Hey guys!"
I glance at the stats and watch the numbers climb. 1k, 1.5 k, 2k, 3k...
I feel the fake smile tug into a frown, but I quickly recover and look at the chat. "Where've you been?" Most say, or along the lines of that.
Where've you been, Phil?
"Yeah, sorry guys... I haven't done my livestream for almost a week," I laugh, and use my hands to emphasize. "I swear I haven't forgotten about you, I've just been busy for... our project."
200k, 202k, 210k...
The numbers steadily climb, and the comment section completely blows up at the mention of a project. I tried to smile at the thought of Dan's face when he finds out I'd promised our fans a project. But the thought brings a surge of reality, and I feel like I have to be sick.
I answer more questions from the chat, then I move on to the fan mail.
"locky103 says: 'y havent u & dan posted on tumblr?'"
"This past week has been crazy for us," I say, starting to lie. I nearly choke at the word "us". "So we haven't posted for a while... sorry. Like I said, we aren't ignoring you guys, but we actually have something going on in our lives..." I trial off with a laugh.
I notice the chat again filling with questions. But they've moved on from "Where have you been?" to "What's the project?!?!"
I maintain my smile and look through more of the fan mail.
"Alright, wifi._.nerd says: 'can i have ur babies'... erm," My fans are so weird, Jesus Christ. "I'm not exactly sure how to-- oh," I realize that I accidentally hit the "delete" button. "Crap. Well, you're dead forever. I hit 'delete' instead of 'accept'... sorry." I force a laugh and move on.
I go through more fanmail, answer more questions. After an hour, I begin to wrap things up.
"It looks like 'TheAwkwardLittleTurtle' is the #1 fan... well guys, I'm going to go now. I wish I could stay longer," Lie. "I'll see you later, and yes, I will post more, sorry we scared you guys."
I turn the camera off, waving as I did. I catch a glance at the numbers, and realize that more than 2 million people were promised a project.
I sigh heavily and shut my computer. Ever since Dan left, I hadn't slept. I'd eaten very little. Troye, who visits now almost every other day, is starting to notice. He pushes me to eat and makes me promise that I'll take care of myself while he's gone.
I'm not very good with promises.
Opening the computer back up, I unlock it and surf through Tumblr. The images and posts flash before my eyes; I retain close to none of it. But by the time I put the computer down, it's 2:00.
My stomach protests at the lack of food, but I ignore it and distract myself with a shower. As I shut the bathroom door behind me, I feel my heart wince.
Why'd you go Dan?
Why did you leave me?
A/N:
Sorry, this is kinda a filler chapter. I've lost nearly all inspiration for this book rippp
YOU ARE READING
One Life (Phan)
Fanfiction***READ FIRST*** Trigger Warnings: Self harm thoughts/themes. Suicide thoughts/themes. Depression and anxiety. You have been warned. /"Dan..."/ /I look back at him, averting my gaze from my laptop. We're at Phil's house, sitting in his room. I am on...
