Loving Luke | muke [c]

Ten

I was back to square one: sitting alone in my childhood bedroom, knees pulled up to my chest as I looked down at the street I had grown to know so well. I knew that approximately three hundred steps away from me, Luke sat in his mother's living room, telling his family the news. Of course everyone knew what was going on, but Luke had decided to wait to tell them face to face what the results had been. I refused to be there to see the look on their faces when Luke broke the news, I refused to be there for the tears and the sinking feeling in everyone's stomach as the words left Luke's lips.

However, there I was, feeling my heart sink and feeling the warm tears running down my cheeks as I tried to think of the future. I tried to imagine what life would be like if Luke got considerably worse in a short period of time. I tried to imagine my life without Luke in it at all and I could feel myself shudder at the thought. I had grown used to Luke's absence during the time he was gone, but there had always been that comforting thought that he was just a phone call away. What if he wasn't just a phone call away anymore? What would it be like if Luke was gone forever?

I let out a huff, drying up my tears quickly as I heard soft steps coming up the stairs and I instantly knew it was my mother. I didn't even bother to tell her to come in as I heard the knock on the door, I knew she would anyways and my thoughts had been confirmed as I could see from the corner of my eye as she slid into the room. I kept my eyes on the bright blue sky, feeling like the good weather could somehow lift my spirits. But it didn't, really. It just made me feel worse and worse and worse, to the point that it was getting unbearable. I didn't want to have Luke back in my life only to get him torn away from me for good.

"Mike?" Mum whispered, kneeling down next to me. I could feel her hand move gently up and down my back in a comforting manner, but the truth was that it didn't comfort me at all. I was pretty sure that nothing would. "I just got off the phone with Liz."

"Yeah?" I muttered, turning to her as I dried up my remaining tears. Mum was looking at me sympathetically, lips pulling up ever so slightly in her typical manner. Mum always had a way of doing things, and I loved the way she did them. I was most likely a bigger momma's boy than I'd ever like to admit. 

"Yeah." She nodded, taking one of my hands and kissing it softly. "Luke told the family already and now he's out to meet Calum to give him the news."

"Fuck." I sighed as I shook my head, screwing my eyes shut to avoid more tears. I had completely forgotten about Calum and the fact that I was going to have to go home tonight. I would have to see Calum be as devastated as I was and I knew from that moment that it was going to break my heart to see him like that. No one deserved to feel that way.

"I know," She said softly. "You can sleep over here tonight if that's going to make it easier for you. I know you're pretty overwhelmed right now, but Liz did ask me to talk to you about something."

I gave my mum a look, knowing by the way that she was hesitating before speaking that my initial response would be a quick, easy no. But I also knew by the way she was hesitating that the right answer would have to be yes. Maybe not for me, but for Liz and for Luke. And the truth was that I would do anything for Liz and Luke, no matter what.

"Luke has decided to come back to live here again, but he'll have to go back to Melbourne to get all the stuff from his and Ale's apartment and he needs someone there with him otherwise it'll just be too much. Liz and Andy are working like crazy and Ben is going away on a business trip and Jack has too much wedding planning to do to take a week off to just go over and help Luke sort everything out. Liz is wondering if maybe you could go on with him."

I nodded slowly, knowing that, being Luke's best friend, that was the right thing to do. Mum smiled slightly, patting my knee and I knew there was more. "What else?" I whispered.

"Luke won't want to be alone here." Mum shook her head, raising her eyebrows at me as I recoiled slightly.

"Mum, there's no space for Luke at our apartment, seriously. Ashton and Calum share a room and I have a tiny single bed. No way."

"Let me finish." She chuckled lightly. "Liz said her and Andy are willing to pay rent for a two bedroom house around here if you and Luke don't want to be in the granny flat back at their place. I know this is a lot to ask, honey, but Luke just lost his soulmate and he just found out he's got HIV, Liz really doesn't want him to be alone in the house all day, you know? It won't last long, maybe just a couple of months until he's more comfortable with what's going on. Luke just needs a friend."

"You know what?" I huffed, feeling everything inside of me burst out like a flame of anger and frustration. "Luke needs a friend. But so do I."

I could see my mother was taken aback by my reaction as I saw her eyebrows shoot up, but at that moment, I just couldn't bring myself to take a breath and count to ten. I didn't know where all my anger was coming from, but I knew I was fuming and I just wanted to be heard. It felt like everything was back to the way it had always been in the past: it was all about Luke. Everyone was working around Luke, to please Luke. Everything revolved around Luke.

"I just found out my best friend since birth has HIV." I groaned, tugging at my hair as I looked up at my ceiling. Flashbacks of Luke and I putting those glow in the dark stars were playing in my mind, and my head was starting to hurt. I didn't want to be in that situation, I didn't want to be dealing with any of it. At that moment, all I wanted was to disappear. "My best friend who completely abandoned me for their soulmate suddenly comes back with an infection that can't be cured, and I'm just supposed to be there for him like nothing ever happened. He's sick, I get it. It's hard, I get it. But when are people going to think of the fact that Luke hurt me? Luke left me? Why am I the one who has to suck it up and go after Luke like nothing ever happened? Like everything is perfectly okay?"

"Because," Mum said calmly, shaking her head as she gave me a disappointed smile. "That's what best friends are for. You put their problems before your own and make sure they know you're there for them."

"So when are my problems going to be put before Luke's? Huh? When is Luke going to put my problems before his own?"

"When the time's right, Mike." Mum sighed. "And  you know now the time's not right."

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gonna finish this story and then i'm done w wattpad