Secrets (Jauren Fanfic)

Chapter 3

Justin's POV

Days passed, but I still couldn't get out her out of my mind. The way a split second of eye contact effected me was beginning to become concerning...and the worst part was that I had no one to ask for advice. My friends all thought having girlfriends or even talking to girls about anything other than sex was pointless, so I knew I couldn't go to them. I was apart of the group of guys at school who you would see at parties every weekend hooking up with a different girl each time and then ignoring those girls at school on Monday. 

"Bro!" My friend, John, waved his hand in front of my face frustratingly.  "Are you ok? You seem to be mentally somewhere else lately.."

"Yeah!" I shrugged, trying my best to avoid further questions. "Just thinking about the next game."

---

I left school early just like I had done for as long as I could remember and drove to the all too familiar place I dreaded arriving at each Wednesday. Therapy. I hated talking about my feelings and addressing my problems to a stranger as if they actually knew me. However, I knew it was just a peace of mind for my parents to know that I always had someone to talk to about these things. Depression is an ugly dark place that no one should ever experience, but unfortunately, we can't all escape it. 

"How are you, Justin?" Dr. Brent asks me calmly. "Are you doing ok?"

His hair was naturally grey, but it suited him. Although he was a middle aged man, he seemed much wiser and more experienced than anyone I had ever talked to. His office was welcoming, which I had not experienced in the past with my other therapists, and something about him made it easy to spill out everything you tried your best to avoid saying in the first place.

"I know that this is just a part of your routine and your job, but I've been promising you for weeks that I've been getting better," I sort of snapped. "I-I'm sorry...it's just that there has been a lot on my mind."

"Well that's understandable," he smiled. "Please go on."

And that's how it always began. One slip up led to a confession, a confession led to a worry, and that worry started to cause him to draw his own assumed conclusions. I hated having my problems documented and expressing my emotional concerns to someone who has probably heard so much worse. 

"I ran into this girl last week," I began shyly. "She was beautiful...absolutely stunning. I think I might have my first actual crush and I don't know a single fact about her. I mean I've liked other girls before, but she's different somehow. I feel like I know her personally, but you could name as many things about her as I can."

"That's a funny little situation Justin. Have you tried asking around about her?"

"I could never do that, sir. My friends would humiliate me for the rest of my life if I ever brought up an edgy girl that doesn't have a single friend on the cheerleading team."

"Well then are they really your friends?" He asked bluntly. "I'm sorry if that sounded harsh, however, they should support you and what makes you happy for the most part."

"I never really thought about that....you're right Dr. Brent. Thank you."

"Not a problem. Remember you can always email me for advice. I'll see you next week Justin. Take care of yourself, ok?" He asked, getting up from his simple desk to give me a handshake like he always would. 

"You got it," I smiled, exiting the door to his office before suddenly knocking into someone. Their papers flew everywhere as we both tried our best to collect as many of them as we could. She let out a small sigh and tried her best to not freak out. I picked up the last few sheets that lay spread across the dimly lit hallway before handing them to who I thought would be a stranger. 

Wrong. 

I was met with the same eyes I had glued into my memory for days. She gave me a quick smile before turning her body around and attempting to walk away. I knew this couldn't be the last time that we had an encounter, so I made a last second decision and took a shot in the dark. My hands gently grabbed her wrists and twirled her around. 

"Excuse me?" She chuckled lightly, totally shocked at my action. 

"I feel like I know you..." I blushed. "What's your name?"

"I-I'm Lauren," She stuttered, playing with her hands nervously. "And you are?"

"Justin. Justin Bieber."