Chapter Six

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It was dark and I couldn't see the road ahead of me. The rain poured from the sky, forming puddles on the ground. The sound of a man's beautiful voice, had been humming a tune, a very familiar tune next to me. I turned my head, to see that the man, with the beautiful voice, was Justin. And my oh my was he the most handsome thing in the moonlight. He turned to me and smiled. My heart started to pound very, very hard as he leaned into me. His lips just about reached mine, when the world went black.

When I woke up, I was on the ground, bloody and bruised. To my right, my car, completely smashed into pieces, and to my left, a man, pale and dead. I killed Justin. I killed him...I killed him...I killed him....I killed him.

"Becca, Becca wake up. Your okay," the voice filled her head, the same one from her dream. She opened her eyes. Justin, was nearly on top of her, holding her in his arms. Tears were spread across his face, as he kept trying to assure her she was okay. The fact that he was alive, and that it was all just a dream, had her sighing in relief.

Justin looked up at her and smiled through his tears, tightening his grip on her,"your okay, I'm right here," he whispers into her ear once more.

She tries to sit up, but she is not sure if she can with Justin on top of her.

"Justin, you gotta get off of me, I can't breathe," she says. Justin climbs off of her, still holding her hands, and not taking his eyes off of her, not for one second, "what time is it?" Becca asks.

Justin pulls his phone out of his pocket,"three in the morning. You alright?"

She nods, and immediately feels a sting of guilt inside of her. She hadn't meant to wake him up so early in the morning. She never wanted him to see her like this.

"I'm sorry for waking you up. I get those every so often," the breeze from the window picks up and gets colder. She feels it on the back of her neck and shivers. She's used to the cold, she loves it, but at times like this, she wishes she had thicker blankets. Justin's free hand wraps around her waist, pulling her in, and holding her tight once more. She knows she can't do this. She doesn't want to have feelings for him. She knows it isn't going to work. But she can't stop, and she knows she won't. She knows she will allow him to be in her life until he chooses to leave. She knows him more than she knows anyone, and it kills her to know that he will leave her one day. Or maybe Becca will end up leaving him, leaving the world perhaps.

"I wasn't asleep, actually," his grip on her had tightened.

"How come?"she asks him, looking up into his eyes.

"Sleeping has been a problem for me since my mum died,"he sighs. She loves how honest and open he is to her. It makes her think she can do the same to him,"How long have your nightmares been going on for?"

"Ive been getting them since my dad died," she tells him, giving him a fake smile,"you get used to it after while, and it kind of becomes like a routine. Fall asleep, have a nightmare, wake up, stay up, fall asleep. It's always the same."

"It shouldn't be like that. I'm sorry."

She wonders why he apologizes for such a thing. It isn't his fault, and she knows he knows that. But why does he still apologize?

She wonders this for the rest of the night. She wonders why he makes it seem like he takes the blame for everything. She wonders why he cares, and why he is still here. She thinks about her father and his mother, both loved ones, dying for no apparent reason, leaving behind the whole rest of their lives. Neither of them deserved to die. They had done nothing wrong. They didn't deserve anything bad.

She woke up before Justin later on that day. She was very happy that he was able to get at least a little bit of sleep. Becca took a long shower, letting the hot water rush down her back, leaving marks of read, trailing down her skin. Heading downstairs, she grabs a box of cereal, and pours it into a bowl. Her mind is blank. She feels peaceful, happy. The sun is shining brightly from the dining room window as she sits down and fills her cereal bowl with milk, scooping small amounts into her mouth with her spoon. She hears a door open from upstairs, and then close. She figures Justin woke up, but was wrong when her aunt comes down dressed in her work attire.

"Your up early I see, couldn't sleep?"she asks Becca.

"No, actually I woke up on my own. It feels nice," Becca says, taking another bite of her cereal.

"Well that's good. How was the dinner with Justin?"

Carol pours herself a bowl of cereal and sits down next to Becca, "We didn't go. He spent the night, actually. We just watched movies the entire time. You know he's always had that big thing with movies."

"He stayed the night? What about his sister?"

"Avery had a hockey tournament. She was gonna be home late, so she spent the night with a friend. Justin has to pick her up around four I guess,"She took the last bite of her cereal and put her dish in the sink.

"Avery has become such a beautiful young girl. How old is she now, let me think, fourteen?"

"Yeah fourteen. I've heard a lot of good things about her. Justin told me how good she's getting at hockey too," Becca takes Carol's bowl after she finishes and washes it for her.

When Carol leaves for work, Becca heads up to her room to check on Justin. His sleeping body lies still on her bed, curled up in the blankets. She shuts the window, so the breeze doesn't make him too cold, and sits next to him on her bed, pulling her phone out from the nightstand. She knows she won't find anything, she never does, but she likes the thought that there might be a slight chance that someone got ahold of her. An old friend possibly, or a family member. Justin shifts in bed, turning his body towards her. His eyes flutter open, and he smiles as she looks down at him. Justin grabs a pillow and slams it over his face to block the sunlight that had been shining in his eyes.

"Good morning," Becca giggled.

He groaned and through his tired voice he replied, "Morning."

The day went by quicker than the rest of her days had. When Justin left, she wrote in her journal about the nightmare she had about him last night. For a moment, she contemplated opening up her father's journal, to finally read all of his dreams and secrets, but quickly washed the thought out of her mind, knowing it would be way too much for her to handle. Throughout the day, she began to feel more and more lonely, without anything to do. When Carol came home, she helped her make cookies to send to Anne, James, and Benny. She found the small peace that always seemed to catch up with her as she decorated the cookies with little snowmen and Christmas trees. She loved it, and she knew her sister's family would love them too.

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