Secrets are my Sanity

Chapter 2

So I pretended up a person who was fittin’ in
and now you think this person really is me and I’m
(Trying to bend the truth)
But the more I push the more I'm pulling away –Lying away from you.

 

Chapter 2

Shane was working on some homework when his brother popped into his room, it was a common thing that happened a few times a day. Any time Michael was bored or needed advice he popped up. “What did you do now?” he asked from where he sat in front of his desk.

“Why is it always me who does something?” he plopped down on the bed. “Julienne’s bitching at me for being a horny toad. She knew this about me when we agreed to be together.”

“You can pretend other stuff interests you.”

“It’s not like its just sex, I love her damn it but I’m not in the mood for all that other sappy crap.”

Shane grinned; it was so amusing to see his playboy sometimes jerk of a brother in love. “If she is you have to suck it up and go something she wants.”

“For a guy who likes guys you are really in tuned to girls brains.”

“Guys and girls aren’t that different.” At least not in everything he had witnessed in his life. “I have a ton of work to do and I’m waiting on Nick to show up.”

Michael sat up on the bed. “Nick Sheldon? Julienne’s Nick?” There was a time Michael wanted to beat Nick up for the simple fact he was Julienne’s friend but after seeing there was nothing romantic he welcomed their friendship and called Nick when Julianne wanted to go out or see a movie.

“Yeah he’s taking my architecture class and the teacher paired us up.”

“Well you lucked out, at least you aren’t paired up with an asshole. Julienne has a project due too and this royal bitch is paired with her. I’m against hitting a girl but I might egg her on to do it.”  Michael explained as he got off the bed. “As always these talks save my sanity.”   

Shane laughed as his brother left and wondered where the hell the boy got his sense of humor. He was outrageous and neither of their parents were.

He turned back to his computer and continued typing a report for his marketing class. He was in a groove and didn’t hear anyone arrive until he heard a tap on his door. He saved his report and looked up to find Nick leaning against his door.

As extreme as his style was it really worked on him, the green highlights in his hair made you look at his eyes which were his best feature. He had never seen green eyes that green before; they were the color of fresh grown leaves.  The three day old stubble goatee he wore drew you to his lips next, they were very defined. Standing at about 6’1, three inches shorter then his own freakish height, Nick was quite the looker.

“Working on something else?” Nick asked, motioning over to his computer as he walked into the room.

“I have a crazy amount of homework. I’ll stop it and we can toss around some ideas for Mr. Tyler’s class.”

“How do you get anything done with Michael and Julianne arguing downstairs?”

Shane looked at the calendar and realized it was Tuesday and his mom mentioned the Tellers would be over for dinner. “I don’t really hear them or I’m good at zoning them out by now.” he got up and went to close the door so Nick wouldn’t be able to hear the gathering downstairs as loud. He turned and noticed Nick paled and looked a little sick. “Are you alright?” he grew worried.

“Yes.” The word sounded a little forced.

Shane realized the closed door and his sour expression and sighed. “You know don’t you? That I’m gay?” it wasn’t a far stretch, if Julienne knew then so did he. With each word his anger soared. “I’m not going to do anything to you; I thought it’d help us work easier if you didn’t hear them downstairs but if you want the door open---”

“It’s not that. I’m not discriminating against you either.”  He looked upset by the accusation. “To be honest the smell of garlic makes me want to hurl.” He offered an apologetic smile.

Shane’s eyes went wide and he inhaled, knowing his mother was cooking pasta downstairs. She was always heavy on the garlic and onion. “Sorry.”

“Do you get a lot of flack for being different that you automatically jumped to it?” Nick asked while sitting on the vacant office chair.

“My family is great about it but others not so much. I think people are just scared about things they don’t understand. I learned it’s best not to pay it too much attention.” He explained with a small smile, he felt like an idiot for losing his cool before. “Have you given this project any thought?”

“I have.” He opened his backpack and reached inside. “There are a few of my designs so you can get a better idea of my style.”

“Good idea.” He stepped forward and took the few sheets of drawing paper. “Wow.” As he looked at them he felt a pang of envy and lots of amazement. “How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

“How long have you been doing this? I know real architects who can’t sketch like this or have such ideas. I’m twenty-three by the way.” He always felt it was rude to ask someone’s age or name and not give yours in return.

“I know and I’ve been putting them down on paper since I was twelve.”

Shane looked up from the paper and noticed those grassy green eyes had been watching him. “And before?”

“I used lego building blocks like every other great architect.” He joked, a small smile tugging his lips.

Shane found himself watching Nick’s mouth and quickly turned away while thinking he was an idiot for looking at him like that. “I’m jealous. I have some stuff I can show you but fair warning it sucks. It’d look better on a street then it’d look on a paper.”

“Everyone thinks their own work is a piece of crap.”

Shane stopped midway to his closet and faced Nick. “You think these suck?” he held up the papers in his hand. “That’s crazy.” He reached in the closet and pulled out his portfolio book, it contained previous sketches and homework from his class last year. “Here.” He handed it over because fair was fair but he really didn’t want to show him after seeing how good he was.

Nick took the book as he looked at his face. “If it bothers you that much…” his mouth twisted again as he tried not to laugh.

Shane obviously wasn’t hiding his emotions well enough, he shrugged. “Go ahead.” He gave him the book and went to the bed to sit. He was nervous, he always got nervous when someone looked at his work, he worried that they wouldn’t like it. His hands were sweating as Nick flipped through the pages. As the minutes went on he found himself watching Nick, the serious expression across his face as he took in the details across the paper.

Shane regretted that he and Nick hadn’t talked before and gotten to know each other. The longer he sat in his presence the more he liked his personality and differences. Hopefully they’d ace this class together and could be friends, Shane hoped since it was all they could be seeing as Nick was straight.