Secrets are my Sanity

Epilogue

No matter how far we've come

I can't wait to see tomorrow

No matter how far we've come, I

I can't wait to see tomorrow -With you

Epilogue

6 months later….

Shane sat on their living room couch waiting for Nick. He was used to his boyfriend taking a long time to get ready. He flipped through a magazine and knew it’d be at least another half hour and he had already been sitting there for some time already.

He looked up from the magazine when he heard someone coming through the front door. His brother was the only person with a key. “Where’s lover boy?” Michael asked as he looked around and saw no sign of Nick.

Julienne stepped out from behind Michael. “In the bathroom right?” he knew her best friend better than anyone else in the world.

“Yup.” Shane answered as he took in what Julienne and Michael decided to wear to their mothers’ gala. Michael cleaned up nicely in a simple black and white tux. Julienne’s dress was black to match her date’s attire. “He’s extra nervous.” tonight was going to be the first time Shane and Nick stepped out in public as boyfriends. Shane’s family knew and was very happy and supportive of them but they kept their relationship private at school and in public to give Nick time to get comfortable accepting the fact he was different.

“He shouldn’t be that freaked.” Michael said. “Mom’s running this thing and I think she’ll knife anyone who dares talk smack about you or your man.”

Shane laughed. “That’s a nice visual.”

“He watches too many violent movies.” Julienne said.

“Nothing compares to Fatal Attraction and the way that poor bunny gets it.” Michael said stone cold serious.

Shane shook his head. “You and that movie.”

Nick was nervous to the point he was ready to puke. He wanted tonight to go well for Shane more than anyone else. After putting up with his insanities and never once abandoning him Shane deserved the moon and then some.

For tonight Nick decided he was going to change it up. He knew Shane loved him the way he was and attracted to his outrageous fashion sense but sometimes a little normal never hurt anyone.

He washed the temporary green dye from his hair and left it its natural light brown shade combed back away from his eyes. Tonight his green eyes were eyeliner free, his goatee and sideburns trimmed down, and instead of all his piercings he only wore the ring in his nose and the one in his ear.

He couldn’t get rid of everything; he’d feel too naked and like a different person. He wasn’t doing this to be a different person; he was doing this to be another version of himself. With Shane he didn’t feel the incessant need to hide behind his outrageous style. He felt for the first time in a very long time like he was simply himself, no one else, and it was time to show that side of him. No more hiding. That was the motto of the night.

He adjusted his jacket and cufflinks one more time before taking a good look in the mirror. If he did say so himself he looked pretty damn good. He was wearing a black tux with a light blue shirt and tie. He had been attracted to the color because it reminded him of Shane’s eyes.

There was nothing left to do but get out there and face the music but Nick’s feet weren’t moving. He was nervous over Shane’s reaction; he hoped he liked his look for tonight. No he hoped for a lot more than just liking it.

Nick took an extra minute to reflect over the last six months. It scared him how happy he had been during these months; it was as if for the first time he was truly breathing. He didn’t have to fear anymore being talked down to or abused for not fitting that perfect stereotypical mode.

He didn’t have the parents he wanted to support him but he had Shane’s family and Julienne and her mother, it took him a long time to realize they were all he needed. They were his family. He wanted to make them all proud and everyday he stopped trying to be someone other than himself he was doing that.

He started to get excited about getting out there tonight and facing the last of his fears head on. Looking in the mirror he smiled at that scared little guy he used to be and banished him away because tonight there was no more running away. No more denying his truth or the love he felt for Shane Gregory.

He opened the bathroom door and continued down to the living room where he knew Shane was waiting. He wasn’t surprised to see Michael and Julienne were also waiting. They all had agreed days ago to ride together to the gala.

“Whoa.” Julienne gasped a she look in his look for the night. “And here I thought you couldn’t get more gorgeous. If you were straight I might have to run away with you to Vegas and marry you.”

Michael groaned. “Gee thanks honey.”

Julienne wrapped her arm around her boyfriend’s waist. “You should be happy everyday Nick doesn’t want me because I would leave you.” she teased.

“You stay for the sex.” Michael said.

“You’re right.” Julienne managed to keep a straight face, she was getting much better at ranking Michael’s chain without laughing. Sometimes he wondered if it was really all a joke.

Nick ignored his friends and focused all his attention on Shane. “Well?” he spread his arms and let him get a better look.

Shane smiled. “You look amazing but you didn’t have to---”

“I know but I wanted to. I didn’t want to hide behind anything tonight; I wanted to be here a hundred percent for you.” Nick tried to ignore all the butterflies in his stomach. He wasn’t scared of his decision, he was simply nervous of the unknown.

“Aww.”

“Shut up Michael.” Shane said to his brother without tearing his eyes away from Nick. “You can wear a paper brown bag for the rest of time and I’ll still think you’re the most beautiful man in the world.”

Nick blushed. “That’s just because you’re delusional.” He walked farther into the room to stand in front of Shane and grabbed his hand securely in his own. “Ready to go?”

Shane openly let his darkening blue eyes roam Nick from head to toe. “Maybe we could be a little late.”

Nick mocked outrage. “I spent hours ironing this damn suit and I’m sure your mom might blow a gasket if we’re any later.”

“Yup.” Michael added. His mother had told all of them they couldn’t be late or dare think about not showing up. She was nervous about this event and wanted her family’s support, whether they wanted to give it or not.

“You can have your way with me later.” Nick promised as they all headed toward the elevator.

“Ah my virgin ears.” Michael cried out.

“You can’t even spell virgin.” Shane said. “You’ve been a man whore since you were born.”

Nick laughed and took a second to enjoy this simple moment. He never thought any of this would happen. Here he stood with his best friend in the world, she was happy against all odds and so was he as he stood in the arms of a man he still couldn’t believe loved him.

He thought back to those days he’d find Julienne crying or he’d come to her crying and they couldn’t find their way out of the darkness suffocating their lives. He had dreamt of a day like this and now here it was and it was far better than he had ever allowed himself to dream.

Shane wasn’t going anywhere and Nick wasn’t going to let him. They were in this together now and if Nick had his way this was just the beginning. He wasn’t scared to dream anymore and now he wanted to dream to reach the sky. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Shane Gregory.

The End