Mr. Lone Boy /BoyxBoy/

||Thirty-five||

Two weeks later

It was snowing outside when I woke up that morning.

I climbed out of bed, pulling on a pair of thick fuzzy socks before padding my way towards the window seat.

I leaned against the wall as I pulled my knees to my chest, tilting my head back gently as it pressed against the wall.

The window in my room faced the front lawn, so I could see the large gate, the small roundabout by the entrance, the parking space, and the trees that decorated the area. It was all covered in snow.

I got a fuzzy feeling in my chest, a rush of excitement as I wondered if I could go outside and play in the snow like a child. I wanted to, but it was never fun to do so alone.

I had to learn that the hard way growing up.

Just the prospect of talking to another human being made my stomach lurch. I'd been hiding inside the house ever since that day in the park when I met up with Devin.

I didn't want to talk to anyone and I certainly didn't feel like it, so I turned off my phone as soon when I got back from the park and never bothered switching it back on.

Along with that, my responsibilities fell apart. Not that I had many, but one that I completely disregarded was my job. As much as I'd enjoyed it, I couldn't bring myself to do it. It reminded me of the time I showed Ian my work, the way he'd complimented me and said that I actually had a future ahead of me.

Another thing was the dog. I knew having a pet was a responsibility when I got the dog, and in my opinion I thought I did a decent job at taking care of him. Now that he lived in the house, I felt like I was slowing creating a distance between us. The maids always fed him, took him for walks, bathed him...they left me with nothing to do but pet his fur.

The window sill on the outside was coated in a thick layer of snow that must have appeared from before I even woke up. My eyes wandered up to the sky, where I could visibly see snowflakes fall to the ground.

What's he doing right now?

Is he with Devin?

I swallowed down the emotions I got just thinking about him, and I quickly got ready for the day.

I wore a relatively heavy sweater and a pair of sweatpants before leaving my room, still feeling like I was about to freeze my toes off.

"Good morning," my mother greeted me, placing a kiss to my temple, a hand resting on the curve of her stomach.

"Where's dad?" I asked, glancing around.

"I thought I told you last night," she said, "he has a meeting at a town a few hours away."

"Oh, I forgot."

She eyed me wearily. "Are you feeling okay?"

I shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Nathaniel," she started.

Not a good sign.

"You're hurting, you have the right to feel down."

"I should have expected this to happen," I muttered, my fingernails digging against the skin of my palms. "I was stupid...it was a mistake."

My heart clenched. It felt like I was lying. To myself. 

My mother saw the lie, she probably spotted it a mile off. "You should talk to him about it."

I snorted bitterly. "Yeah, right."