i walked in the front door into our small house. my mind was racing and i couldn't process my emotions. i don't know what to do. my life as i now know it is falling apart and i don't know how to fix it.
"babe, why are you home so late?" i hear Shawn's voice calling me from down the hall.
"oh nothing. it's just a long day at work," lies. i had just gotten back from the doctor.
i have been having severe aches and pains all over my body and migraines for the past couple of months and i never knew what it was, so i planned a doctors appointment. i never thought much of the possibilities of what it could be. it turned out to be something that would change my life completely.
"do you want to watch a movie? i rented Me Before You the other day,' Shawn asked me, obviously eager to spend time with me. i guess watching a movie would take things off my mind.
we sat down on the couch and turned on the movie. i nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck and his large hands grabbed firmly on to my right hip and snuggled me close to him.
once the movie ended, i got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. i finished up and dried off and put on my favorite sweatpants and one of Shawn's big t-shirts.
i pulled up the covers of our king bed and snuggled underneath the down duvet. Shawn lay beside me and wrapped one arm around my stomach and held me close.
"good night sweet girl. i love you so much," Shawn mumbled, half asleep.
i fell asleep soon after, not even once thinking about what had happened earlier.
i woke up the next morning bright and early, 7:30 to be exact. i looked over and saw Shawn still asleep so I decided to go downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee. it was just then that i came back into reality.
i froze in my tracks. my feet felt heavy and my hands numb. i can't go on like this. Shawn can't have this, not with his career and life ahead of him.
i snuck back into our bedroom and grabbed my suitcase. i packed everything from my drawers and shoved it into the bag. i grabbed my bathroom cosmetics, and a few of Shawn's old shirts.
i grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a short note.
i looked back at Shawn, laying peacefully in bed. my eyes began to burn and glaze over with tears at the thought of leaving him, but had no choice. i quietly slipped out the front door.
Shawn's POV
i woke up this morning and looked over beside me, and y/n was already up. i could smell the fresh coffee brewing downstairs, so i headed down.
"good morning babe," I said, my voice raspy and quiet, that i knew she loved.
she wasn't there.
"babe?" i asked, a little bit louder. "baby, where are you?" i asked again, now a little bit worried.
then I noticed a small, beautifully written note on our kitchen table. it read,
Shawn,
i can't stay here anymore. it's not right of me to have to make you deal with this. i love you so much and it kills me to go. i have terminal cancer, Shawn. i'm sorry. i'll miss you. you can go far baby. never forget me.
- y/n
i couldn't believe that i was reading. everything became blurry and sounds became ambient. my head began to throb and my legs became weak. it can't end like this. she needs me. i need her. she's everything i want.
***
i'm a flop rip
this sucks bye
lindsey
