I'm Married to the Devil... What Now?!!

Chapter 37: Paralyzed by Fear and Pain

It is bright. The sun beats down, throwing its angry rays upon everyone around. The air sizzles all around me, making the atmosphere hazy in my eyes. I feel the tiny beads of sweat pop up on my forehead. It doesn't take long before those beads begin to roll down my face, streaming down as if they are hot tears.

I won't let tears fall, although I wish I could. I want so badly to run into my love's arms and cry all of my fears away. I want to sob about my impending doom, but I want to bawl about the impending death of my innocent soldiers more. I just want to be weak.

But, strong I am. I stand proud and tall. My back is straight. My head held high, I march through the crowd that heckles me and spits on me. I walk through the hordes of ugly goblins. Some of them yell at me in their own language; the gross, guttural sounds. Most of them swear at me. I notice that the few women in the crowd do not spit or shout. They look at me with tears in their eyes. I feel a kind of simple companionship with these women who are holding young children in their arms, crying for me. I do not stop before them, though. I must march on.

All too soon I reach the middle of the gathering, where my soldiers are tied up and held at the ends of swords. I smile bravely for them as I'm led to the middle of the clearing, to Damien's side. My soldiers struggle for me, but to no avail and I feel the blood turn cold in my veins. I feel doom cover me and blanket me in a strange depression.

"I'd like to welcome you all to this great day," Damien shouts out above the clatter all around us. The goblins quiet down immediately. "Today the war will officially end with a great victory for us!" Applause and cheers break out. I can't help but get angry.

He continues, "Today we'll once and for all be rid of the unrighteous Queen Detini. She'll no longer be allowed to keep you all down. You'll be able to live better lives, because she'll be dead. No longer can she cause you to live in poverty and anguish in this horrid country. From now on, you'll be able to rely on me for your freedom."

"Do you really think he's going to give you some of the demons' land?" I shout, surprising everyone. Damien looks like he's going to murder me on the spot. "He was raised as Demon royalty. He won't give up his family's property. He also won't give you any more freedoms than his father did. They are practically the same people. What his father believes in, he believes in. He'll continue to oppress you, as his family has done for years. I was willing to give you freedom and hear your complaints. I'm not like him, but you refused me. Now, you'll live under the oppression you hate, all because you fell for his pretty promises."

"Shut up! These people all know you're lying to them. There was no promise of peaceful negotiations. You just rushed into the war, instead. You were unwilling to even talk to them. They won't help you," Damien screams at me, backhanding me across the face. My cheek stings from his violence, but I stand tall, refusing to let my body respond with tears.

"I have never lied to you guys. I sent a message of peace, but it was denied. You may not believe me. I'm sure you've been told many lies about me, but remember how little mercy he's shown anyone. He just struck me for no reason, except I was saying things he didn't like. He has shown you that he's willing to deny me the freedom of speech. What will he deny you?"

The crowd crept closer around me. I feel the mood change. The mob mentality has disappeared to be replaced by a curiosity. My soldiers have stopped struggling and I'm able to breathe a little easier. I still hold tightly to my concealed weapons. Damien is desperate, though. He screams out, "She's poisoning your minds! Don't listen to her!"

"I am not trying to sway you in order to save my life, although I'd have to admit I would enjoy to continue living. I have always believed in peace. I hate war. I see no reason for people to die. Therefore, I tried to diplomatically end this argument. Unfortunately, it seems Damien had other plans. The day I declared war, I cried. Call me weak or blame it on my feminity. I wept for the lives I knew both sides would lose in this war.

"Now, I do not cry because I know that one way or another this war will all end. I might end up dead and disgraced before you, but at least the remaining soldiers will hopefully be safe. I know that when my heart stops beating your blood-thirsty leader will finally be happy, or at least I hope he will be. I cannot say confidently that you'll be free. I'm praying you will be, but I find that highly unlikely. You'll be the slaves you've always been.

"Most of all, I hope my people will be safe. I am their sovereign leader and I would lay down my life for them. I care more about each one of the people who find residence in my country, than about myself. Therefore, I beg of you not to save my life, but save my people. They have been willing to keep peace with you and harbor no ill will towards you, so treat them with the kindness they deserve. Kill me if you will; keep my people safe."

There is complete silence. No one moves. I feel the beat of my pulse against my skin as my mind speeds through the endless list of memories. I'm rooted in the past; unable to see the future; unwilling to take place in the present.

I'm whipped back into the present, as the crowd takes a step towards me. Instantly, I grab my weapons, but still as an older Goblin with chains around his wrist smiles at me. I take him to be the leader I heard Damien had chained up. He is ugly. His teeth are broken and sharp. They are yellow and disgusting. He reaches out a gnarled hand with overgrown, yellowing fingernails towards me and I take it, shaking it lightly.

"You're a strong leader. We want peace with you," is all he says. I smile, happiness filling my every pore. The crowd cheers and it sounds like a choir of angles singing to me. A woman comes forward, bending at my feet to kiss my toes. I thank her.

"NO!" Damien yells behind me.

At the same time, I hear one of my fighters yell out, "DETINI, WATCH..."

It's too late. I feel the sting of pain in my back. I fall to my knees, collapsing as if a fallen tower. Crumbling in shock, I hear screaming and shouting. The pounding of running feet doesn't come close to me, as I'm encircled by familiar voices. I hear the sounds, but I can't recognize the words. All I know is the pain. It's incredible pain, until finally I fall into blackness and disappear.