some things change | hayes grier & shawn mendes

eight

ROWAN

I feel my heart violently pounding in my chest as I walk down the hotel hallway where all our rooms were.

I never predicted I would be a heartbreaker this early in my life. I'm only a child, not even 16 years old yet.

Why in the world was I thinking that having a boyfriend would be a good idea? Especially when I knew in my heart I was in love with someone else. That is probably the shittiest thing I've ever done to a person, and now I have to apologize.

I take a deep breath before knocking softly on Shawn's hotel room door and he opens it  moments later.

I notice Hayes sitting on the bed. I shoot him a small smile but his head lowers after briefly making eye contact with me.

I swiftly hide my disappointment before smiling up at Shawn.

"Hey beautiful," he grins pecking my lips softly.

"Shawn, I need to talk to you," I tell him biting my lip so hard it begins to draw blood. In the corner of my eye I notice Hayes look up slightly in curiously before looking back down again.

"Yea of course," Shawn replies nonchalantly. "Do you want to do it here or--"

"I'll leave you two alone," Hayes cuts him off before storming out of the room. Shawn doesn't seem to notice the bitterness laced in Hayes' voice and smiles at me as if everything is wonderful.

But then his face suddenly falls into a frown. Maybe he's beginning to sense that there's something off not only between Hayes and I but him and I.

"So, I think I can guess what you want to talk to me about," Shawn huffs when the door slams shut.

I take a seat on his bed but he chooses to stand a sizeable distance away from me. In the moment, I begin to realize just how hard transferring my thoughts into words is.

Shawn is arguably the sweetest guy in the world and I'd never want to do anything to hurt him but I know that this conversation is inevitable and I just have to man up. I caused this mess now I have to deal with it even though it pained me to do so.

"Shawn, I just-"

"You're breaking up with me aren't you?" he sighs before falling back onto his bed. How does he know what I am going to say before it even leaves my mouth?

"Shawn, I don't want to hurt--"

"You love Hayes, don't you," he mumbles yet for some reason he still has a smile on his face. This is going a lot differently than I pictured in my head.

"How did you know I--"

"Rowan," Shawn grins as he cuts me off once more. "How could I not know, it's quite obvious. It's okay."

"It's okay?" I exclaim in confusion, not understanding why in the world Shawn would find anything about this situation okay.

"Of course it is, Rowan," Shawn assures me. He was rubbing my back attempting to console me even though I believed I'd be the one attempting to console him. Is today backwards day but no one decided to tell me about it? "You're my friend and I care about you so much. I just want you to be happy and if Hayes is the one who makes you happy who am I to get in the way of that."

I look at Shawn in disbelief, not being able to comprehend why he's being so cool about this.

"I probably wasn't ready for a relationship anyway. When we met, I had literally broken up with my old girlfriend back in Pickering Lauren a few days before," he admits.

"Oh really?" I ask quite shocked at that statement.

"Ya and we only really broke up because of distance. I may have just been upset at that and rushed into things with you though I wasn't ready."

If he told me this a while before I probably would have been pretty upset but after Shawn was so understanding about the whole situation there's no way I wouldn't treat him the same way.

"Don't worry I understand. Clearly we both screwed up a little, getting into a relationship with each other while still having feelings for other people," I shrug confused by this whole situation but pleased that I didn't hurt Shawn.

"True but at least we talked everything through and realized we're better off being friends," he smiles sweetly.

"How did I get so lucky to have you as a friend," I mumble in disbelief as I hug him tightly. He shrugs before hugging me tighter.

"Now go find Hayes," he encourages me as he pushes me out of his grasp and basically out the door.

//

rip showan :/
but no one really shipped that anyway

sorry for such a short chapter but the next ones pretty eventful