Sherlock's Daughter: Fallen

Badlands

Gasoline - Halsey
Control - Halsey
Haunting - Halsey

A/N: just a warning; this chapter we see the dark parts of Sophie's mind. There is a lot of dark things. It discusses depression, image issues, anxiety, and hints at self harm. This was the most mentally taxing chapter I've written so far because I really had to draw on my own personal Experiences so if you feel uncomfortable reading this chapter, but you still want a summary, at the end of the chapter in an author's note I'll make a brief summary so you can still follow the plot. Over the past few weeks due to some events, I've really come to accept that mental health comes before anything. I love y'all and I realize I probably should've put warnings on all the chapters, but I want y'all to be safe so if you don't need to read this chapter there is a summary (trigger free) at the bottom of the page. *kiss emoji*

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It's been a week since the party. Since Rosie.

Relapsing has become a habit. A habit has become a rekindled addiction. 

I haven't spoken to Tyler, Josh, or Brendon since the party. I only leave for school some days. Other days I avoid it all together and go to abandon houses spending my time getting high. I've given up. There's still nothing on Jensen. No leads on Rosie's Killer. John and Sherlock are consumed with work, as their popularity as hit an all time high.

So, here I am at a tattoo parlor with my fake ID and preparing for my first tattoo.

"Where do you want it?" Kyle, the tattoo artist asks me.

"The side of my arm." I roll up the sleeve on my clean arm and show him where I want it. Kyle picks up a pen and outlines the area and begins sketching it.

---

"That'll be £90," Kyle says as I make my way to register. "And clean it every night to make sure it doesn't get infected.

"Okay." I murmur. I pay and leave the parlor making sure that my jacket is covering the tattoo. "We've made it this far kid." One of my favorite lyrics ever. And I figured, the worlds gone to shit for me, so why not do something that will make me happy. A tattoo. Of course, Sherlock and John will probably murder me but what else is new? As I walk home I light a cigarette and walk down the street and make it to 221B where I put out my cigarette. Sherlock and John must be home. As I notice the straightened door knocker. I take off my jacket to leave the smell of cigarettes downstairs. As I walk up the stairs I hear faint chatter. I hide behind the corner to listen in.

"Sherlock she has missed 15 days of school in the past month! It's not normal!" John argues.

"John, it's completely normal. She's going through grief. As a doctor I would expect you to know that." Sherlock mouths off.

"Not that kind of Doctor, Sherlock." John hisses.

"Oh, whatever." Sherlock replies. I hear him pick up his violin.

"Bottom line, she's not okay." John sighs before giving up the fight.

"Who's not okay?" I hide my arm and act all happy (for once).

"Oh no one that you know." John smiles at me. I luckily past the quick inspection John makes with his eyes and I scurry upstairs. I look in the mirror and see the circles under my eyes growing darker and larger from my lack of sleep lately. My eyes are no longer a piercing blue. Almost a dull, sad, empty blue. Like the sea after a huge hurricane. I look at my tattoo once more and smile a little bit. I finally got something I'd always wanted and for a moment everything felt...normal. And then just like an exhale of a breath, it left. I pop open a window and light a cigarette and look at the London skyline. Where could he be? Is he even still alive? My mind wonders to Jensen. Oh, shut up. He's not coming back either way so get the fuck over it. My mind begins the daily battle with itself that will eventually lead to destruction. He may come back! You never know I mean-NO! He's not. He left no tracks. He knows what he's doing. Get your ass over it. You have Tyler. He's fine. He's better. You don't deserve him. And just like that my mind begins ripping itself apart piece by piece. Screaming insults at itself. I desperately want to turn it off. You'll never be worthy of love again. It's your fault Rosie's dead. I meant only makes sense that you need to die now. PLEASE STOP! My mind begs with itself as the insults become darker and more threatening. Why? Are you scared and weak? Jesus Christ you're just a waste of space. THATS IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I wipe the lone tear from my face. I rush out of my room and walk straight through the living area avoiding all the questions from John, especially the question that seemed to have the word "arm" and "tattoo" in it. I begin to run through the nights of London. I make my way to the one place only Sherlock would think to go to...a drug house. I know what's at risk. If I'm caught I could go back to juevie..or jail this time. This time neither weed nor cocaine would distance me enough from this reality.

----

For the first time ever, my mind is numb. ...nothing...there's nothing to think. I'm floating. I'm, I'm okay. It's okay. I'm happy. I lay down on the dirt ridden mattress and enjoy the euphoria more. I run my finger through my hair, every nerve sending feeling through my body. I graze my fingers down my arm as my hair stands on end...my finger touching ever nerve. My eyesight goes blurry but every sense is heightened still.

I feel a hard hand hit my face. "Sophia!" I slowly open my eyes as I still buzz in my state.
"Jesus Christ...Sophia Holmes." A voice mumble. I am yet to make out the physical appearance.

"Hello." I think I make out. But for all I know it is just gibberish.

"We need to get you to a hospital." The salt and pepper haired man suggest. "Can you walk?"

"Bu-I'ma-I don't...know?" I make out. Still in a haze.

"Get the medics up here." Lestrade! That's who it is! I feel my head begin to pound as I begin to come down.

"Nah, I'm fine." I stutter as I begin to sit up. Lestrade assists me.

"Sophia do you understand how much shit you're in now?" Lestrade's eyes show only sympathy and sadness.

"I know...I know." I grab my head in pain. The medics rush upstairs.

"What's wrong?" The medics approach me quickly.

"Take her to the hospital. She needs a tox-screen." Lestrade helps me up.

"Where, where are John and Sherlock?" I ask Lestrade as we go down the stairs.

"Searching all over London. They called me as soon as you stormed out. They knew if you were running, they knew you would be able to hide. So I got squads looking all over for you." Lestrade sighs.

"Fuck man, I didn't expect people to care that much." I laugh a little as they load me into the ambulance.

"You must be blind then." Lestrade glances at me before they close the doors to the ambulance and take me to the hospital.

---

"We found huge amounts of crack and heroin in her system. This is above the normal amount for the first time user. " The doctor explains to Lestrade, Sherlock, and John. Well...I'm fucked.

"Jesus..." John puts his head in his hands as he sees the numbers. "How long!" John raises his voice.

"First time." I mumble, his loud voice increasing my headache.

"SOPHIA HOLMES I'M TIRED OF THE LIES AND DRUGS AND EVERYTHING. TELL ME THE TRUTH FOR THE FIRST GODDAMN TIME!" John yell, leaving everyone surprised.

A little scared I reply, "It was my first time. I had someone give it to me that wasn't a first timer. I wanted to be knocked out." I mumble.

John leaves the room.

A/N: SUMMARY: It's been a week since the party and Sophie has lost all contact with the world pretty much. Her drug usage has increased again. She gets a tattoo of her favorite lyric "We've made it this far kid". Her mind drives her to a drug house where Lestrade finds her and takes her for a tox-screen. High amounts of heroin and Crack are found in her system. John is tired of her shit and leaves.

OKAY, so I feel like there wasn't a lot of plot advancement in this chapter, but next chapter is good! I feel like this chapter was shit. I've just felt a lot of anxiety and my depression has gotten worse so I just needed a chapter to be able to get that all out. So yeah. Thanks for putting up with that. There is a big discovery in the next one so stay tuned!!
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