six; torn

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You were plagued with nightmares all night long.

Kylo Ren was the main feature of the night terrors, the helmet glistening with raindrops, reflecting his lightsaber's fiery red colour. In your dream, he had been standing on some muddy terrain, on a distant planet, lifeless bodies scattered all around him. His chest had been slowly heaving up and down, and there was blood being washed off by the rain on his robe. Other men's blood. He had reached his hand out in your direction, but you remember recoiling in horror. 

"I'm not a monster," he had called out, his hand still outstretched. His voice was distorted, robotic. Not human. The way it always sounds when he wears that helmet. You hadn't replied, and he threw his lightsaber to the ground, where it melted the mud around it, the rain landing on it making little sizzling noises.

"Don't let me become someone I was never destined to be."

It's the last thing you remember from the dream.

The second you step out of your room the next morning, you're met with General Hux, who's carrying a clipboard. His ginger hair is combed neatly - too neatly for such an early time - with a part down the middle. 

"Ah, LN-1311," he starts, but you're in no mood to deal with him, so you ignore him. You start making your way to training, eager to see what has become of Kylo since last night.

"Luna- Luna, is that what you're going with now?" he calls out again, his tone much more friendlier than it had been last night.

"Yes. What do you want, Hux?" You increase your pace, not wanting any morning chats, but he catches up with you and starts walking beside you. 

"I- er, I wanted to apologise for last night's thoughts. My relationship with Kylo Ren, is- uh- is perhaps not the easiest of ones." You flinch a little as he says the name Kylo Ren, it reminds you of your nightmare. For some reason, hearing his whole name makes him sound more threatening that he is. It makes him sound like someone who he's not.

When Hux sees that you have no intention of replying, he adds, "I can see you're making progress with your training. Not even Ren can read minds that quickly and that subtle." 

You still don't reply, but can see he's making a noticeable effort in order to come off as friendly. You had literally just started training, how could you be better than the Master of the Knights of Ren?

However, you don't care. "You were an exceptionally good stormtrooper as well," he adds.

This time you stop, crossing your arms across your chest. No stormtroopers are that good at their job. "What do you want Hux?" you repeat. 

"I said, I just want to apologise." 

"You should be apologising to Kylo, and not to me. You didn't do anything to me. Except take me away from my family when I was a child." You add the last part in a spiteful tone. Hux frowns, and takes a step back. 

"Ah. Well. Yes. The First Order needs an ever-growing generation of stormtroopers."

You roll your eyes and start walking away again, but he grabs your arm, holds you in place. 

"It's not always easy for me to show respect to Kylo. He's younger than me-" 

"Oh so just because someone's younger than you there's no need to show them respect?" 

"That's not what I meant. I just meant- it's just that-" He stops and sighs. "It's come to my attention that Kylo has been having some.. Conflicting emotions." Your nails dig into the skin of your balled up fist.

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