fourteen; promises

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Standing outside his room, Kylo feels the Dark side calling, feels it deep inside his gut, and knows Supreme Leader Snoke is demanding to see him.

He doesn't have time to think about what he has done. Doesn't have time to walk back inside his room and hold you in his arms and apologise.

His heart aching, he starts making his way from his room to Snoke's chamber. He can still hear your quiet sobbing at the back of his mind, and as he walks to the chambers, all he can picture is how hurt you had looked. Speaking to Snoke is the last thing he'd rather be doing at this moment, not when he knows he has injured you yet again, but he knows it's a duty he must fulfil, no matter how torn he feels inside.

Your words ring inside his head as he stomps through the Starship, his boots loudly clanking against the metal flooring. "There's Light in you too." Did Snoke know this as well? Was Kylo about to find out?

He reaches the room and takes a deep breath, resting his forehead against the wall for a few seconds, trying to regain his composure.

"Master of the Knights of Ren," Snoke begins, his hologram slightly flickering. He wanted this communication to be short.

"Supreme Leader Snoke," Kylo replies in acknowledgement, nodding in the hologram's direction.

"I have sensed a disturbance in faith."

Kylo keeps a calm face, even under the helmet, keeps his mind blank.

"From whose behalf, Supreme Leader?"

Snoke studies Kylo. "Your energies.. The girl's and yours. They're overlapping. I can no longer sense which is strongest. I will have to assume the lack of faith is coming from the girl. Have you not been showing her the powers of the Dark side, and how they are far more superior to those of the Light?"

"Of course I have-"

"Then why am I sensing non-conformity?! Why is her faith faltering?" Snoke bellows.

Kylo doesn't reply, terrified Snoke will sense the fear in his voice.

"The girl.. She is much too powerful now to form an alliance with the Light side. She knows too much."

"She's loyal," Kylo says, desperately trying to talk about your strong points. "She's making much progress in training."

Snoke rests his head in his hand, sighs loudly. "I have not asked you to bring the girl with you because there is something that needs to be made clear between us."

Kylo bites his lip behind his helmet as he remembers how helpless he had left you in his room.

"We can not risk her joining Luke Skywalker. It would virtually destroy us. You can handle her alone, but not them together. And lest you have forgotten, the girl you let get away has, by this time, become a Jedi. As powerful as you are."

Snoke leans forward in his throne; Kylo clenches his jaw, awaiting whatever it is Snoke has in store for him.

"Any other acts of rebellion from the girl, and we must terminate her."

Swallowing, Kylo replies, "Supreme Leader, she's my apprentice.."

"What, you mean to tell me you have suddenly developed compassion for the girl? Has she made you go weak, Kylo Ren? Weak enough to develop feelings?" Snoke says all this with a sneer, as if this is all some kind of horrible joke.

Kylo straightens his back, stands with his feet apart, his hands behind his back. "No. None. The girl means nothing to me. I'll destroy her myself if need be, Supreme Leader." He says all this without skipping a beat. He doesn't allow himself to think.

"Good," Snoke drags the word out. "I trust you with this mission. You are to finish her training soon."

And with that, Snoke's hologram fades away, leaving Kylo standing alone in the darkened room. His heart is beating like crazy.

He takes off the helmet and stares at it.

No more lies, no more pretending.

He makes a mental vow to change.

My anger, I need to learn to control it. She's getting hurt every time I lose control.

He had already promised you he would protect you.

Why does she still care about me?

He broke that promise when he had been the one to hurt you.

How can I keep hurting her, over and over?

He makes a new promise to himself; one he knows he will not break.

I'll let her help me. I'll protect her.

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