Bits Of Jikook

Drabble #6 - Jikook angst

Stop it [part 2]

Months passed and things were still the same for Jimin.

Jimin still can't say "Stop it." to Jungkook.

He still loves him so much.

On the other hand, things changed for Jungkook.

He's not the bubbly bunny that Jimin knows anymore.

Jungkook became a cold person. As if he forgot how to smile. How to laugh. How to enjoy.

Everytime Jimin talks to Jungkook about this there are only 2 things that always happens to them;

It's either Jungkook will stay silent and just look at Jimin with those cold and emotionless eyes

or

Jungkook would walk out of the room and leave a frustrated and confused Jimin alone.

But still Jimin didn't punch Jungkook and yelled "Stop it!"

He still can't.

He still loves his dongsaeng so much.

Jungkook is growing up. It must be part of puberty. He just needs space. Jimin thought.

Jimin gave Jungkook all the space that he needs.

There are times that Jimin will see Jungkook dazed and just stare at the wall with blank expression.

It happened so many times Jimin lost count. Jimin would always ask Jungkook what's wrong but Jungkook seems like he's there physically but his mind is somewhere faraway so Jimin gave up and just backhugged Jungkook everytime this happens.

He would whisper all the sweet words that exists in this world to Jungkook but receives nothing as reply.

Jimin is hurting at their current set up. He is not even sure where he stands at Jungkook's life anymore. He's not sure if there's still something.

But Jimin just ignored all those thoughts and the fear and let Jungkook do his thing.

He can't say "Let's stop this game Jungkook." to the latter. He was too scared to do so.

What if Jungkook agrees and leave? He won't be able to yell stop at Jungkook.

Because he doesn't want the younger to feel suffocated.

Because he loves him so much.

But alas, Jimin's fear has come to reality.

"Hyung." finally he heard Jungkook's voice again. Jimin felt happy. But not completely happy. He can sense something is coming.

"I can't stand being judged by them anymore."

Jimin listened to Jungkook. He wanted to cover his ears but still he listened. Even if he already knew what Jungkook was about to say.

"Hyung everytime we hold hands at school, everytime we eat at the cafeteria...I can feel it. Those eyes that are watching and judging us. I can't stand the feeling of being watched anymore hyung!" Jungkook lost his sanity and started to throw things. Not at Jimin. But everwhere around the room.

He started throwing Jimin's pillow. The vase beside Jimin's bed.

"Hyung I dont want to be judged anymore!" Jungkook lifted the chair near Jimin's study table and threw it at the mirror.

Jimin's heart was just like that mirror.

Broken.

Shattered into pieces.

Because of Jungkook.

Jimin couldn't stop his tears from falling but still he can't say "Stop it!" To Jungkook.

Because he loves him so much.

Because no matter how messed up Jimin's room is right now, it was still Jungkook that he is with.

The Jungkook that he loves so much.

"Jimin let's end this. Let's break up."

Jungkook didn't wait for Jimin's answer and already stormed out of the room.

Until the end, Jimin wasn't able to say "Stop it" to Jungkook.

Until the end, Jimin let Jungkook have his way.

Until the end, Jimin still loves Jungkook so much.