Incongruence (On hold)

Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

AMBREE'S  P.O.V

I walked back to the table. What the hell was wrong with me? Why had I told him my name? Other then my family nobody calls me Ambree. Ever. I like to go by Amber. Because when I'm at school or away from family I get to pretend that I like my family and I love hanging out with friends.  I can fake being happy, let people think I see the world as they do. Bright.  

 I've turned myself into exactly what everyone wants me to be. Just like Alex.  People at school have described me as bubbly, happy, and even perfect. If they only knew how far from perfect I was. If they knew what I though, if they knew what I have put myself through, and continue to put myself through in hopes they don't see through my act. If they only knew the ugly truth.  I hide the truth behind a fake persona, Amber. When I'm Amber, everything is usually fuzzy around the edges. It's not as clear or sharp as when I'm home or alone. But it's clear to them. They truly believe I’m just like Alex.

Dinner is uneventful. I pick at my salad and avoid talking. My head is clear again and I can see normally again, it's much better then the thick heavy fog that has been hanging around my mind and blocking my path of vision all day. After dinner we head home. I still avoid talking and don't pay attention to the pointless chitchat and laughter swarming around the car. I look at them; the perfect family. I can see how happy they are, it's radiating off of them in rays towards me. Its obnoxiously annoying. It makes me want to choke myself. My parents are in the front, and they're truly enjoying themselves. They don't talk to me like they talk to Alex. They don't laugh with me, or smile at me like they do with Alex; so free, and genuine. It always feels like they're holding back with me. Like if they say something wrong I'm going to break. Or if they actually enjoy being around me the world

is going to end. I know I'm not as fun or perfect as Alex but I'm not a china doll, I’m not going to shatter if they try to have fun with me. Sure the few times they have tried have been a disaster, but they keep treating me like grape flavored cough medicine, just something you have to choke down. However if you enjoy it and take too much you either have a serious problem, or you're delusional.

When we get home I go straight up to the bathroom and strip off the still damp dress. I wash all the hairspray out of my hair leaving it wet and about half way down my back. I scrub my face clear of all the makeup and turn off the heavenly water. After drying off I dress in shorts and a loose sweater. I look at the clock by my bead. 10:43. I'm tired, so I lay down and try to drift off.

I gasp and sit up quickly trying to take in my surroundings. I'm still in bed. I'm shaking, soaked in sweat and twisted up in the sheets. I can't tell if my hair is still wet from the shower or newly wet from all the sweat.

You know when you fall in a deep sleep and the dreams are more intense, but because you were so deep when you surface again you cant remember anything? It was one of those dreams.

I try to calm myself down again by taking deep breaths and trying to relax my tense muscles. I lay down again and try to fall back asleep.

Oh my god this night is never going to end. I've been laying here for an eternity and am still wide awake. I look at the clock. It's been fifteen minutes since I woke up from the nightmare. So much for an eternity. I throw the covers off and walk downstairs for some water. It's barely even midnight and the moon light is bright and clear. With my glass of cold water in hand I open the back door to the patio and sit at the table. The view is serene, it's the definition of peaceful. The waves are gently washing over the sand, then sliding out again. The sky is as clear as a crystal, the moon isn't quiet half, and the stars are shinning like, well, like shinning stars.

I take the last sip of water and set the empty glass on the table. I stand up and walk into the sand. I walk down till my toes are touching the water. I close my eyes and breath in. The air is clean, crisp and salty. The light breeze brushes across my warm skin and blows through my hair. I start walking along the beach, I have no idea how far I've walked, but when I finally look up I see an orange glow ahead of me. I walk closer, curious of what it could be. As I get closer I realize its a campfire, with people around it. I can hear the laughter and see a cooler, I really don't want to get involved with with anyone drinking tonight. It's like a movie scene, a bunch of friends around a campfire on the beach, swapping stories and making memories. It makes me wish I had a group of friends that I liked, people I could actually be myself around. Just relax and not worry about doing anything embarrassing or wrong because the people you're with except and love the real you, not the one you pretend to be. True friends. The kind who have seen you at your worst and still stuck around. The ones that have seen you at your best and enjoyed making memories with you. That group of people who have helped you through your downs instead of stepping back and vanishing from the picture once you open up. Or worse, take advantage of the fact that you have opened up and use all your secrets against you, or tell everyone just because they can. The scene playing out in front of me actually hurts me, because its just reminding me of everything I don't have. A loving family, friends who actually care, freedom and the ability to be comfortable around people.

Since I don't want to crash the party I start to turn and walk back the way I came. As soon as I take a few steps away my presence is notices.

“Hey!” Someone from behind me shouts in my direction. I freeze and turn my head back towards the fire. Yupp it was directed towards me.

“Who's there?” The same voice says loudly. I can make out that its a guy speaking but don't know which one. The whole group has stopped talking and I can feel that they're all looking at me. I turn back and start to walk away. Maybe they'll just forget and go back to their conversation. I'm not that noticeable right? Just a random girl walking along the beach alone in the middle of the night. Nothing out of the ordinary.

As soon as I think it the more I realize how stupid I actually sound and panic sets in. This is dangerous. They've been drinking, I'm way out numbered, I'm probably over a mile from my house, and its the middle of the night so if I scream I most likely wont be heard over the ocean. I've made it about ten steps and decide to look over my shoulder to see if I'm being followed. They're standing up. I take a few more steps at a quicker pace and look back again. Crap. Theirs about four or five large figures walking quickly in my direction and catching up. I take off into a sprint. The sand is difficult to run on,

can feel it flicking off my bare feet behind me. I'm on the track team at school so I can outrun just about anybody, so they can eat my sand for all I care.

“Hey!” I can tell its close, but I took them by surprise by running, and they probably weren’t expecting me to be as fast as I am.

“Stop running!” Ha! They sound tired from chasing me! We've only gone maybe an eighth of a mile and they're already tired. I can easily out run them and make it home. Wait. I don't want to lead them home. What if they break in or something? I also don't want them knowing where I live. Oh god where am I going to go? The blood is pumping and I can hear my heartbeat revving. I momentarily slow down in the confusion of where the heck I’m supposed to go.

All of the sudden something grabs my waist, I jolt back and feel my feet stop moving. Unfortunately the top half of by body doesn't stop. I push my arms out in front of me to block myself from getting a mouthful of sand. I close my eyes.

THUD.

Oh that hurt. I'm definitely going to feel that tomorrow. If I live to see tomorrow that is. The guy who just tackled me is now on top of me. I can feel him breathing on my arm. I shudder and start to wriggle and twist in an attempt to get free of his vice like grip.

“Let go of me,” I try to shout but since I'm currently being crushed I don't have much air to pull from. He lets go of me and I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my chest. Literally.

As soon as he's off of me I push away and try to get away but he grabs my ankle before I can get up. Forcing me to fall back on my hands and knees.

I look up to see I'm surrounded by people all slightly out of breath and looking at me. I turn over knowing its no use to try and run. I look to see who the hell tackled me and let out a gasp. A wave of heat and embarrassment rushes through my body. I let out a groan as he gets up and holds out his hand to help me up. I don't take it. I let out a small shriek as me grabs my arm and effortlessly pulls me to my feet. I'm now standing face to face with none other than the guy from the restaurant bathroom.

Keegan.