Incongruence (On hold)

Chapter 9

Keegan's P.O.V.

I kept checking my phone. It was almost five and Ambree hadn't arrived yet. We're all sitting on the beach but I'm completely ignoring what they are talking about. I was praying that she would show up. I want to get to know her; understand her. I feel like I need to earn her trust or at least be there for her if she needs someone. She doesn't seem like the type who has a ton of close friends. She's sheltered and innocent. Last night she mentioned she's not the dating type but I don't believe her. She's total girlfriend material, and any guy would be lucky to call her his. I think she's scared to let anyone that close, because if she doesn't let anyone in.. she can't get hurt. Which makes me wonder. What happened that she feels the need to protect herself? 

I turn to look in the direction that she came from last night and finally see someone walking towards us. I stand up and brush off some of the sand. The boys see me moving and follow my gaze. Once they see her too they jump up and start greeting her all at once. She smiles and brushes some of her hair behind her ear. 

“You know I didn't peg you as the type of girl to sleep with guys then disappear before they get up, but you've proved me wrong.” Everyone starts laughing at Nick as he fakes pouting over his hurt ego. Even Ambree laughs before defending herself. 

“I didn't mean to fall asleep! I had to get home before my parents woke up.” She looks so relaxed compared to yesterday when she was sitting by the fire. She looks amazing in her light blue shorts and slightly oversized sweater, the light colors really make her legs look nice and tan. She's thin too, but you can tell she works out; her legs are defined and toned. I pull my eyes back up to her face before I get caught checking her out, even though everyone else is too. 

“What do you guys say we head up to the house? I'm starving.” Carlos suggests. We all nod in agreement and walk up to the house. The Flores' house is pretty big, we go straight into the basement which has been designed specifically for nights like tonight. There's a kitchen with a large counter, a huge TV with the biggest, most comfortable couch ever, an amazing view as well as a door leading right out to the beach, and a good sized collection of movies and video games. This is where we have some pretty epic memories. On the counter we have set up everything we need to make pizza. We all grab our dough and start flattening it out. Carlos has decided to try and stuff his crust, Nick shaped his in long skinny rectangle so he has a lot of crust, Ambree has shaped hers into a heart, and everyone else's almost resemble a circle. I try to make mine thin but its all uneven. I give up and reach for the sauce. 

“So ambree,” She nods to Seth's inquisition. “ Since you've never been on a date, have you ever been kissed?” A round of ohh's and Ahh's goes around the group as she bites her bottom lip and blushes a deep red avoiding eye contact. 

“That's surprising!” Says Kyle. 

“Why? Tons of girls my age haven't been kissed.” She tries to defend herself. 

“Yea but I doubt any of them are as pretty as you are.” Everyone goes quiet after I speak. She blushes once again and smiles at me. Somehow there's a sadness in her eyes. Like she can't believe anyone would think she's beautiful. 

“I bet they're way prettier than I am.” She looks away and puts more pineapple on her pizza. It hurts me to see that she thinks so little of herself. Who told her she wasn't beautiful? What happened that she can't see how drop dead gorgeous she is? Why is she so sure that something is wrong with her? 

“I don't know if that's even possible.” Tony states. Everyone nods in agreement. 

She shakes her head and runs her fingers through her hair.

“Yeah it is, I'm really not that attractive,” Her whole attitude has changed. She's not smiling anymore, shes nervous and her breathing has changed. Like she's trying really hard not to freak out right now. Bingo. Something about the context of the conversation has really triggered her. She keeps shifting her weight from foot to foot, each time twisting the free foot on the floor a few times then sliding it back and switching feet. 

“That's a load of crap darling, you're gorgeous.” Everyone agrees with Seth. Except Ambree. She continues to shake her head in disagreement.

“There's nothing gorgeous about me! I'm short, my hair is always a frizzy mess, my face always looks like a disaster and I'm fat.” Everyone starts talking at once.

“Hold up! Hold up!” Nick gets everyone quiet. “First of all I like short chicks! Second your hair looks freaking amazing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your face and you are no where near fat darling.” The guys all agree. 

“No, you're just trying to be nice. There's nothing pretty about me.” She's getting on edge now. I need to stop this before it gets too bad, before she compltely freaks out. 

“Hey do you want to go out to the fridge with me and get something to drink?” I cut in before anyone else can say anything. She bites her bottom lip and runs her fingers through her hair again before nodding. I put my arm around her and lead her out the side door to the garage. Once we're in there she walks to the far corner and starts taking deep breaths. I follow her and turn her around. 

“Hey, whats wrong?” She looks like she's about to cry and she just keeps shaking her head. “Were we making you uncomfortable?” Again she doesn't speak but instead covers her face with her hands before wiping her face and shaking her hands to the side like she had just washed them but didn't have anything to dry them off with. I grab her and pull her into my arms. I feel her wrap her arms around me and rest her head on my shoulder. I can feel her tears dampening my shirt and can feel her shaking, but don't hear any sobbing. 

After standing there for a few minutes rocking her, her breathing returns to normal and she has stopped crying, she loosens her arms and I let go. She steps back and wipes under her eyes. 

“I'm sorry.” She says. “It's just..” She pauses and takes a deep shaky breath. “I hate it when people say that. I'm not pretty, I'm not girlfriend material and I'll never be perfect. I'm an emotional wreck, I've been crying two of the three times we've met, I'm unstable, and don't do well in situations like this. That's why I don't have friends. I can't do this.” She looks at the wall the whole time she talks. 

“I know I don't know you very well yet, but I'd like to.” I say. She turns and looks at me with question in her eyes. 

“Why?” Her voice is barely above a whisper. “Why would you want to get to know me?” 

“Because, you're fun to be around, you seem to need some friends, you're different from any other girl I've ever met, and even if you don't believe it.. You're beautiful and I think I can help you.” She looks like she's going to cry again but she doesn't. 

“You can't help me, trust me nothing works. I'm unfixable.” 

“Then it wont hurt to try.” She looks shocked.

“I never thought about it like that.” 

“Let's get the drinks and go back in.” She says walking over to the fridge. We grab various drinks for everyone and walk back in. As soon as we walk back in everyone stops talking and looks at me, as if asking if everything’s okay. I nod and hand out the soda's. 

After we put the pizza in the oven we all go sit on the couch and turn on some music. Ambree stays close to me the whole time. She sits in the corner of the couck and pulls her knees up. As she does this her sweater pulls up a few inches exposing her lower stomach but only to the side I’m sitting on. I'm shocked to see the horizontal lines by her hip. Scars. I look up as she looks over, catching me looking at her scars. She quickly pulls down her sweater and looks away. 

When the timer goes off Nick and I go check on the pizzas. 

“Hey, dude what happened in there?” He says in a low voice. 

“Look, I didn't want to say anything before but she reminds me of Kelly.” He turns and looks at her. 

“Yea, she does.” 

“What are you going to do about it?” He asks. 

“I can't let that happen again, you know that. I know what to look for now so I'm going to try like hell to help her. I just hope she lets me.” 

“Hey, is the pizza ready yet?” Seth yells from the couch.

“Yeah its done give us a minute to get it out.” I say reply before turning back to Nick. 

“don't mention this to the other guys. We can't overwhelm her with help or she'll pull away. Juset let me handle this okay?” 

“Sure man, just let me know if you need any help.”