Just A Little Different

Chapter 8

Yesterday was the last day of finals, and there were three days left before summer vacation. Ian had worked really hard to finish his homework and makeup missing exams. He was just too tired to function. I decided to finish the rest of his homework for him, even if it didn't matter at this point. While I was working, I thought back on our conversation from two nights ago, after he kissed me.

***

He had become feverish once more about a half hour later. I sat with him until he was able to fall asleep. While he was waiting for sleep to cloud his thoughts, I came up witb an unexpected question. "How long?"

"What?" He looked at me. Then realization showed in his bright blue eyes. "I don't know. For a while I guess. After Gertrude came along, I tried to convince myself I like her. But if I'm bring honest, she's not my type at all."

"Why would you try to convince yourself you like someone that you don't really like?"

He hesitated. "I wanted to diminish my feelings for you."

"But...why?" I just couldn't understand.

"Because, I'm gay Ben, and being gay is looked down upon in society! I just...wanted to fit in...in some way." I looked at him sympathetically. Fate had not been kind to him. Then, he said, "What about you?"

"What about me?" I asked, confused.

"How long have you liked me?"

"Oh...um...I don't exactly know..." I thought for a moment. "I only just recently realized, but it feels like it has been a lifetime. Ever since I met your parents and found out what they're like, I've wanted nothing more than to protect you and hold you through the night, try to take the pain away, ya know?" He didn't respond. I looked at him and realized his eyelids were growing heavy. I smiled and rubbed his head before leaving the room.

***

"Ben?" My mom's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I looked at her with fuzzy eyes. I was just as tired as Ian.

"It's almost midnight. Go to bed."

"I only have one more problem to do, mom."

She grinned. "You're such an over-achiever."

"The best in the business," I gloated jokingly. When I finished with the final paper, I snuck into Ian's room and placed them on his bedside table, then went to bed myself.

~~~~~~~~

Ben met me at our usual meeting place for lunch and we walked home together. It was the last day of school, which I only got through because of him. The next year would be our senior year. But at the moment, I was perfectly content on thinking about the summer and not worrying about the school year ahead.

We took a shortcut through the woods, as we always did when we had to walk. There wasn't much to say about the day, but it didn't matter. Instead, we walked in silence, hand in hand, taking in the beautiful late-spring afternoon. The first day of summer was two days away.

Ben suddenly stopped. I looked at him to find he was replying to a text. "Can't you put that phone down for one minute?" I grumbled.

He seemed startled by my tone. "You okay, dude?"

"I'm fine!" I huffed. "Can we get home please?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." He stuffed his phone back in his pocket and we walked swiftly and silently through the woods and back to the house.

When we got to the front lawn, he grabbed my wrist. "Come on, man. What's wrong?"

I pulled my arm away from him. "I'm fine. I just need to be alone.

"Ian!" he called as I walked off.

~~~~~~~~

"Ian!" I followed him through the house to his room. He slammed the door before I had the chance to stick my foot out and stop it.

Mom appeared in the hallway. "Did something happen?"

"I don't know. He was silent when we left school. I thought he was happy. But then I stopped to message you back and he sounded annoyed, which doesn't usually happen, and then he just ignored me and stormed inside. He said he needed some time alone. I wonder if something happened." I could hear the disappointment in my own voice, even as I tried to hide it.

Mom put her hand on my shoulder. "Just leave him alone for now. It sounds to me like he's having a bad day. It happens. He'll come around, I promise."

"I guess you're right." I sighed. "I'm going to go take a nap."

"Alright, sweety."

--------------------

A knock on my door woke me from my sleep. I looked at my alarm to find it was 7:00. "I rubbed my eyes. "Yeah?"

"It's time for dinner," mom called through the door. "See if Ian's hungry. I ordered a pizza."

I groaned. "That's like the third one this week!"

"Deal with it!" She laughed as she walked away. I waited until the tired feeling wore off before getting up. I walked downstairs to Ian's room and, just before I entered, I remembered his attitude from the afternoon. I knocked on the door. No reply.

I opened the door and crept in quietly. I turned on the light and walked over to him, sleeping on the floor at the foot of his bed. Weird. I crouched down next to him and shook him lightly. "Ian, wake up. You need to eat something." He turned his head but did not wake up. His stubbornness amused me. "Ian," I spoke louder. "Time to wake up."

"Noooo," he whined, swatting my hand away gently.

"Come on, Ian. You know you wanna see my beautiful face," I joked.

"That may be so," he mumbled, "but that doesn't mean I have to wake up to do so." I laughed at the remark as he slowly opened his eyes. "What's for supper?"

"Pizza."

"Again? That's like the third time this week."

"I said the same thing. Mom laughed at me and told me to deal with it. Come on."

~~~~~~~~

Ben and I ate in my room. It was quiet without the T.V. on, but he used it as an opportunity. "Ian?" he began, a curious look in his eye.

"Yeah?"

"What got you so upset earlier?"

"I...I just had a bad day." I looked down. He moved from the chair he was on to my bed. I leaned into him and looked up. We made eye contact and I felt like I was powerless to break away under his soft green gaze.

"Ian, you know you can tell me anything," he whispered.

I couldn't think of a single word at that moment. The room disappeared around us and I was trapped in his eyes, reflecting my own broken ones. "I...um.." Ben smiled knowingly and looked down, bringing me back to reality. I stopped to think. "What was the question again?"

"Why were you so upset earlier?"

I thought for a moment. Then, "maybe I was just tired. I was kind of snippy with everyone today. I even snapped at Ty."

"Really?" His head turned back towards me. I nodded. "Sticking up for yourself?" I nodded again.

"I just needed that nap."

"I can agree with you on that one," Ben replied. "I took one too and I feel so refreshed."

I smiled and hugged him. "Thank you for not being mad at me."

"Everyone has their bad days," he mumbled, kissing my forehead and holding me tight.