Marvolo•Tom Riddle FanFiction

Tobacco Road

I helped myself to two pancakes, which was two more then I usually eat since I'm never awake for breakfast. However, today is Teddy day since I have been the most neglectful friend, which I'm blaming on Tom. But no Tom today because Teddy overthrows him by miles.

"I was going to spend all day in the library." I frown at Teddy's plans. The library wasn't my ideal 'making it up to you' place to be. I was going to spend all the money I can find on him at Honeydukes, seeing as it's Saturday. "But," he continued, "I could just check some books out and we can go down the lake." Teddy smiles proudly and I reflect it.

We quickly finish breakfast, sneaking small pots of jam in our pockets, then rush off to the library. It's practically deserted, most students have gone to Hogsmeade, which means we can get in and out quicker. Teddy darts over to the Herbology section and races back as fast as he left. Only then do I notice when he looks at me, he doesn't look me in the eyes anymore.

Maybe I've messed this up too much? What if I lose Teddy? What would I have to live for? The feelings overwhelm me and the odd sensation overtakes me. The sensation of crying. I blink furiously and take quiet deep breaths. I wouldn't dare let anyone see me cry. My eyes follow Teddy's cotton ball brown haired head over to the desk where he checks the books out. "Come on then." And I follow instantly.

We walked to the lake in silence. It wasn't the good kind of peaceful silence but It wasn't the bad kind of disturbing silence either. I decided to lean more towards the fact he had given me the time of day. I sat crossed leg, only a few feet away from the lake, and Teddy spread his legs out next to me with his book resting on them.

He began reading silently giving me nothing to do but pick grass. Teddy's never been mad at me enough to ignore me, but I've done bad, I deserve to feel the pit of sadness, self loath and regret. I don't deserve Teddy one bit. I don't deserve anything.

"I'm a horrible person." My mouth accidentally works at the same paste as my mind again. Teddy stops reading and stays uncomfortably still. I shouldn't have said that! It sound like I'm seeking attention! What if he thinks that's all I'm doing?

I don't want him to feel sorry for me! What if he thinks all I do is seek attention? No, Teddy knows I'm not like that. Yet, this little voice in the back of my head whispers, 'either way, you don't deserve him. You don't deserve anything.'

My fingers work at the grass rapidly. I pull it so hard that mud comes out and twist it around my fingers, stopping the blood flow. The seconds that my fingers go numb, the seconds that I feel nothing, makes me jealous. I want to feel nothing everywhere. I want to feel some-

"Kenna! Stop it!" Teddy's warm hand clasp on mine, stoping the nothingness. Only then when I'm snapped out from my own head do I realise I've dug into my hand. The relief pain and tears follow. His arms thread around my neck and pull me down to his warm chest.

Teddy pulls us both to the ground where I cuddle closer to his side and cry. The staleness of the tears takes away the feeling of pain. The feeling of Teddy holding me takes away the feeling of pain. All I want is him back. All I want is my best friend back.

Teddy's thick fingers thread through my hair as he shh's me softly. I could just fall asleep. Fall into a never ending stream of eternal darkness. "I...Teddy...Sorry isn't enough. I-It never will be. You deserve...better T-Ted." My attempt of words are blocked out by Teddy's voice.

"You were a terrible friend, Kenna. It was horrible thinking you've chose Tom Riddle over me. But, I love you. I'm not going to let that bastard ruin us." I whip my tears on the back of my hand and sit up, trying to adjust myself. I've worked on calming down so it happens fairly quickly but the feeling never leaves.

Why does the feeling never leave? I use my sleeve to whip off the smudges of black makeup and take slow breaths to regain my speech. "He never will, Ted. Your a need, your a necessity. I think about myself too much but your more important. I'll try cancel studyi-"

"No! We are ok, you need these study sessions, Kenna. Just make sure your back in time to kiss me goodnight." A floppy smile places in Teddy's face and my stomach warms. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

We then spend three hours laying by the lake eating pots of strawberry jam, reading about Herbology and holding sweaty hands.

----

Soon enough, the last coloured leaf fell and was replaced by droplets of snow. Time had gone faster then expected and so much had changed yet I don't feel anything new me, all new improvements. It had been a week and three days since me and Teddy had made up and everything feels right again. Except the fact I've been lying to him again.

I've been avoiding Tom at all costs. Not going to study groups (I have missed five), skipping lessons I have with Slytherin and not facing him at meals. My life feels how it has always been but at the same time I know I'm lying to myself.

Honestly, Tom brought out something in me I didn't know I had. Simply being around him makes me feel better and stronger and whine we are apart it's as if I deflate.

It feels as if I've failed at something. At least he hadn't snitched to Dumbledore, however, I'm certain he knows. The Dark Art books he had gave me lay unread under my bed. The whole subject hadn't come up since.

But now, right now, there was no stopping it as two piece of parchment lay sprawled out in my bed. One from Tom and one from Professor Dumbledore.

Dumbledore's reads:

Dear Kenna,

Please come see me in my office after dinner.

I believe we have important matters to discuss.

Kind regards,

Albus P.W.B Dumbledore

It didn't tell much and keep me reading. I read it a totally of 16 times before the second letter came in, being carries by a graceful brown owl. The second one was just as discreet.

Kenna,

Forbidden Forest at 8:30

It didn't have a name but it didn't need a name. It's funny how now he doesn't even need to sign a name. We know each other now. Which is why I am sure tonight can be no good.