Secrets and Lies | ✔️

Chapter 32 - Talia

Ch.32 - Talia

"Are you okay?" Charlie glanced at Talia before turning his eyes back to the road. "You've been quiet ever since the memorial service, and you barely touched your lunch. Not even the desserts." She could hear the playful banter in his voice at the mention of dessert and knew he was trying to make her smile. But she didn't feel like smiling.

"I wasn't hungry." Talia kept her gaze firmly planted on the steaming pavement in front of them. The sudden rain had saturated the streets but the sun was shining again, and mist rose up from the blacktop like a ghost.

"It was a nice memorial," she said quietly. "Don't you think?"

Charlie took a moment to answer. "It was very nice. And the tree they planted was a thoughtful gesture. I think Janice would have really liked it."

Talia nodded her head, although she hadn't really heard him. She was lost in thought. She wanted to believe her mind was wandering because of Janice, and in part it was, but there was another part of her that knew it was something more. And that made her feel guilty.

Her gaze fell to her hands folded in her lap, trembling slightly against the black silk of her skirt. As hard as she tried to forget him, Steven could never be erased from her thoughts. Her former husband lingered there like a knife wound, the blade still embedded. Every once in a while it would twist, pushing deeper inside of her. Today it twisted.

Talia tried to focus on the beautiful drive back into town. Tall trees stood on each side of them forming a canopy over top, and sunlight peeked through the branches leaving golden streaks and splashes everywhere. She leaned back in her seat and tried to relax, but found it wasn't easy. Her mind wouldn't stop racing.

Janice had left her husband, she'd escaped, only to return to him several weeks later. And now she was dead.

Most people wouldn't understand why she'd gone back. Talia knew Charlie didn't, only he was too kind to say it out loud. How could he possibly understand? People who've never been abused often say if their partner ever hit them they would leave. "It'd only take one time and I'd be out the door!" they'd insist. Talia had heard it all before, and she knew from experience it was easier said than done. Staying in or returning to an abusive relationship is far more complex than stating what seems like the obvious. The truth is, no one really knows how they would react in a situation like that until they found themselves in one. And by then, often times, it was too late.

It's easy to forget that the victim is in love with their abuser--as hard as that may be for some people to believe--and the violence they endure is typically followed by periods of affection and positive attention, which leaves the victim feeling confused and hopeful. Many abusers are remorseful after violent episodes and promise never to do it again, and the victim believes it because they want to believe it. They want to love and be loved in return. But by that time their self-confidence has already been destroyed. They come to accept violence as an unavoidable part of their life, and more often than not, they blame themselves. They've been repeatedly told it's their fault by their abuser, to the point they feel it's their responsibility to "fix" it.

No one understood that better than Talia.

Time and time again she'd tried to keep Steven happy. After three years of marriage she'd learned the rules. She dressed the way he wanted her to dress, kept her hair long and blonde just the way he liked, and she never spoke out of turn. She said the words she knew he wanted to hear and made love to him every night, just as he expected. But it was never enough. And every time he hit her Steven would apologize over and over. He'd cry, tears streaming down his cheeks, and blame it on the pressure of his job, or that he'd had a bad day. He'd tell her he was hitting her for her own good, he didn't want to do it, but she was doing something wrong and needed to be corrected. He would tell her he loved her. And for a long time she believed him...until she didn't.