Junk and Other Stories

Birthday

"John? John, wake up!"

John didn't even stir. He kept on snoring, deeply engrossed in his dreams. He was dreaming that he was trapped on a desert island with nothing but a knife, a packet of cornflakes, and Paul dressed up like a Playboy bunny. John couldn't help chuckling, It really was a funny sight.

"John! Wake up right now, or I'll have to wake you up myself!"

"Go away, Paul..." John grumbled. "I'm trying to sleep, so push off, Mr Cottontail!"

"Then you leave me no choice!"

Paul gathered all his strength together, placed his hands on top of the lump that was John, and gave him a hefty push. He pushed a little too efficiently. Both John and Paul went scooting off the bed and landed on the floor in a tangled heap, the duvet draped over their heads like a circus tent.

"What the hell, Paul?!" John cried, pulling himself free of the mess of blankets.

"Oh, great! You're awake!" said Paul cheerily.

John sighed heavily. "What's going on, Paul? Why did you wake me?"

"Haven't you forgotten what today is?" Paul asked.

John thought for a minute. He shook his head in defeat. "What day is it?"

"It's a special occasion, that's what!"

"Is it Christmas already?"

"No, you numpty! Christmas was ages ago!"

John rolled his eyes and said huffily, "Enough games, Paulie. What's going on?"

"It's Jodie's birthday today!" Paul declared.

John's face went white. When he spoke again, it was in a small stammer, "That's t -t - today?"

Paul nodded. "Isn't that exciting?"

"No!" John cried, leaping to his feet. "I thought her birthday was next week! Oh God, oh God, I'm so dead. I am so dead!"

"What's the matter, John?" Paul asked although he could already tell.

"What isn't the matter?!" John cried, rushing around his bedroom. He threw open the closet doors and began yanking clothes off of the hangers. He quickly slid on a shirt and pants before falling to his knees on the hunt for his best shoes. "I forgot it was Jodie's birthday!"

"You forgot your own girlfriend's birthday?" Paul said, his eyes wide.

"Yes, Paul, I did!"

"Oh dear... Did you get her a present?"

"Of course I got her a present!"

Paul's eyebrows knitted together. "Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is," John said, tugging his dresser drawers open and foraging through them, "I lost her present yesterday and planned on looking for it today!"

Paul didn't know how to respond. He simply got up, walked towards the door and left the room. He felt bad about leaving John frantically searching for his lost present, but he didn't want to get involved in what could potentially be a dangerous situation. He also wanted to get to the bathroom before George did.

"George takes forever to shower," Paul muttered as he headed down the hallway.

John glanced over his shoulder and noticed Paul's absence. He angrily stomped over to the bedroom door and shouted at him, "Thanks for nothing!"

"You're welcome!" came the reply.

John muttered some extremely rude words under his breath before going back to his search for Jodie's birthday present.