Junk and Other Stories

Baby, You Can Drive My Kart

Ever since The Beatles invested in a Nintendo Wii system, life as they knew it changed drastically. 

You see, George Harrison, the youngest and more reserved member of the group, had a huge passion for all things to do with video games. He had a vast knowledge of gaming and had played a large variety of games. Most days (when he wasn't working) were spent sitting in front of the band's shared computer, placing his headphones on, cranking up the volume and tuning into the latest installment in the Fallout series.

The other three Beatles didn't mind this too much, but when George asked for someone to play video games with him, things got pretty ugly pretty quickly. It all started the minute they had plugged in their brand new Nintendo Wii console. George immediately slipped a game into the disk drive, grabbed a controller and flopped down on a beanbag, all set to game.

"Hey lads!" he called out. "Who wants to play some Mario Kart with me?"

"Mario Kart?" said Paul, blinking rapidly. "What's that?"

George sighed emphatically. "Only the best racing game in the history of ever!"

"If it's got anything to do with racing," John chuckled, "then of course you'd think that!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" George asked indignantly.

"You're absolutely obsessed with all those racing games," said John, ambling over to his friend. "Look what happened when you played Grand Theft Auto! You barely moved for two whole days!"

"That's not true!" said George, even though he knew it was. He cleared his throat loudly. "Well, this game isn't like GTA at all. It's a quick game for everyone to play, okay?"

"I certainly hope it's a quick game," Paul said. "If it isn't, I'm not going to fetch and carry snacks for you this time - especially if you ask me to feed you through a straw again!"

"Hey, that was one time!" George protested. "And anyway, that's not going to happen. Do you guys want to play Mario Kart or not?"

John and Paul glanced at each with raised eyebrows. Then they shrugged and went to join George into front of the television. John collapsed into a beanbag to the right side of George, and Paul seated himself to the left. George smiled at them then proceeded to start up the game.

"So what do we have to do?" Paul asked, elegantly crossing one leg over the other.

"Race around a track, knock other players out of the way, throw green shells at each other," George said nonchalantly. "Y'know, that sort of thing."

"Oh yeah, sounds like a barrel of laughs," John said sarcastically.

"It will be," said George. "Now shut up, John. The game's about to start."

George gripped his controller tightly in his hands, so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He was staring at the screen with an amazing look of determination on his face. The familiar Mario theme song started up and the game's main menu flashed onto the television screen. John sneered at all the bright colours and goofy looking avatars.

"Right, guys," said George, "time to choose your avatar and customize your car! Who wants to go first? Paulie?"

"Oh, okay," Paul said happily, then he scrolled down the screen, examining each player. One avatar in particular caught his eye. "Can I be this one, Georgie?"

George peered at the character Paul had selected and burst out laughing. "Oh my Lord, Paul! Are you serious?! You want to be that one?!"

"Yes," Paul replied huffily. "Is there something wrong with that?"