Finding home

Chapter 13 - The fall

"I-uhm... I kind of liked having someone... so close" he confessed looking down at my feet.

I was shocked by his statement and he slowly looked up to meet my eyes.

"What?" was the only thing coming out of my mouth and he looked really embarrassed.

"Well... I haven't exactly been able to sleep since Alexis was taken... until tonight, and I think that was thanks to you" the last part he pretty much whispered.

I 'ooh'ed though it felt like there was something more, but I decided I shouldn't push more than I already had. Castle was by the fridge when I was taking the last food off the table and I was counting on him still being there when I turned around to walk towards the fridge. Only he had apparently decided to walk the same way as me so when I turned around I bumped right into him and we both fell to the floor. Somehow he managed to twist us in the air so he landed under me, probably to keep me from getting hurt. I let go of a quiet scream as he let go of a humpf once we landed. I landed on top of him and I looked down at him with a frightened expression.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry! I didn't know you were right behind me" I rambled my apology.

That's when I realized how close we were and a weird feeling spiked through my whole body. Before I knew it my body had acted on it's own and put my lips on his. I didn't know what had drawn me in, but it felt so right. I felt his shock but a few seconds after our lips met he kissed me back with a passion that made me loose my senses. It felt like a spell had come over me, I couldn't pull away. His hands found my cheeks and cupped them gently, sending shivers down my spine. God, I had never felt like this before! Suddenly he pulled away and I realized what just happened.

"Shit! I'm-I-uhm"I stumbled as I quickly got off him.

That's when I realized it. I realized that all the feelings I had tried to hide in front of Lanie, all the feelings I had denied to myself were right there screaming at my face to let that last wall fall down, for him. To let that last barrier open for him to know the real me, to know the me I had never shown to a guy before. I watched as he got up on his feet and I heard giggling coming down from the stairs.

"Ready!" Alexis yelled out as they reached the end.

I run my hand through my hair as I tried to gather my thoughts together to think out my next move.

"What about you two go play a little while Kate goes to change clothes as well" Castle suggested behind me and I nodded.

The girls let go off a cheerful 'yaay' before they ran upstairs again. I turned to Castle and thanked him before I set off to my bedroom. I noticed he didn't follow me, in fact, when I turned around he had slumped down on the couch again. I once again tried to think before I acted, since I had lost control only minutes before when I didn't think at all before I acted.

"You know what, could you come? I think we need to talk" I said with a much stronger voice than I expected, thought I was going to sound weak but I guessed it was my cop-voice going on automatic.

"Sure" he said and I could see he was nervous.

He fiddled with his fingers as he stood up and started to walk towards me. I turned around and walked into my bedroom, letting him through the door before I closed it behind us.

"I'm sorry, about... that. I didn't think" I said but I couldn't look at him so I occupied myself by opening my drawer to decide what clothes to change into.

I couldn't keep the ones I had on me since I had slept in them. I held up some of my shirts to look at them, to decide and all of a sudden when I held a dark blue with the Captain America shield on I heard Castle open his mouth for the first time since we got in here.