Finding home

Chapter 19 - Tough scar

Slowly the high feeling were leaving my body as I laid panting in my bed with my head on his chest. We were both sweaty but none of us really cared about it, I certainly didn't mind his warm, sweaty body against mine and since he didn't pull away I figured he was as satisfied with our bodies touching as I was. He even kept his arm around me to keep me from moving away from him. I couldn't keep myself from kissing his chest a little now and then.

"That was... amazing" he quietly whispered out in the quiet room.

I bit my lips as they went up in a wide smile, thinking about all the things we had been doing since we entered my bedroom.

"Yeah" I breathed out agreeing.

Our breaths were finally back to normal and I suddenly remembered that bump I had felt before when I had roamed my hands over his upper body. I pushed myself up on my right elbow and I got a confused look directed at me. I smiled at him not to worry him before I looked down towards the side of his hip. I immediately found the line I had felt before, it was a scar. I carefully let my fingers touch the white line and I could feel the tension from his body as he waited for my comment, probably thinking I would abandon him because of it.

"What happened?" I asked, looking up at him with curious eyes.

I tried my best to tell him with my eyes that I wasn't mad or whatever he thought I would be. I saw him take a deep breath before he looked up at the roof and started to tell me what he probably didn't really want to tell anyone.

"About a week after they took her, I-I... I started drinking, more than I should" I could hear the shame in his voice, he really didn't want anyone to know this. "I was drunk, and I had just smashed an empty bottle, angry at the world for taking my daughter. A big part of me didn't want to live without her, so I picked up one of the sharp bottle pieces..." he took another breath and I felt my heart shatter at his words. "Since I was drunk I couldn't really think of where would be the best way to cut so I cut myself beside my belly, thinking it would go quick. But once the glass started to go deeper than just through the skin I woke up from my drunk haze and immediately tried to stop the bleeding. I realized that if I continued like this I would never get Alexis back and she would truly loose her only family" he finished and he put his hands over his face, to hide himself.

I stroke the line gently with my fingers before I carefully bent down and kissed it lightly. I then raised again to position my own head right in front of his, I let one of my hands bend his hands out of the way so I could get access to his lips. My lips were soft against his, trying to tell him that it was okay not to be okay. When I pulled away I kept my forehead against his, hoping to give him more comfort than he'd had a couple of months ago.

"Thanks" he breathed out and I couldn't help but smile before I opened my eyes and pecked his lips only to pull back and lay back down on his chest.

"Always" I said low before I felt the exhaustion taking over.

His arm around me tightened and I heard his breathing slow down. I managed to reach behind him to be able to pull the covers over us, covering our naked bodies, thinking about how Alexis sometimes came running into my room before I've woken up. Even though I knew I should probably stop him from falling asleep so we could put on our clothes in case that would happen I was too tired and comfortable right where I was to leave it. I liked the way his skin felt against mine, and I loved the warmth his body was radiating to mine. Only a few minutes after he had fallen asleep I joined him into the land of dreams where I had only dreams about the two of us doing things I never could've imagined before this night.

I felt a tingling go from the left side of my breast down to my stomach, up again and then down further which made me moan with satisfaction. The tingling continued to move around my body and I soon realized, the more I woke up, that the reason behind the tingling were fingers. Gentle, smooth fingers, stroking my body, making my senses go insane. As I got more and more aware of what was going on I remembered the night before and I felt his fingers touch me right where I needed him. I let go of a low moan and I opened my eyes to find his eyes observing me with a satisfied smirk set on his lips.