London Dreams - A One Direction Fanfiction

Chapter 12 - Secrets

Excuse the spelling mistakes !! :)

Please read the authors comments at the end !! X

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Ellen's POV

"Ellen, you can tell me. What's wrong?"

We were sitting on Zayn's couch, and I was sitting between his legs, Zayn had his arms around me and I had my arms around his bare chest, resting my head on his shoulder. I sigh before I lifted my head, sitting up straighter and unwrapped my arms from around him. I fiddled with my sleeve.

"I have never told anyone this..." I whispered, Zayn nodded and rubbed my back, as if willing me to go on. I sighed softly again before continuing. "It was about a month ago, I had been going out with him, Adam, for 3 years. We met when I first moved here. He was the first person I got to know..." I sniffled and Zayn handed me the box of tissues, which I took gratefully taking one then setting the box down in front of me again.

"Well, we got talking and found out he was going to the same uni I had enrolled to start at. We became close really quickly and more and more people joined our little friendship group... After two months, he asked me out. And we became closer than ever. I only realised it afterwards, but he never told me he loved me back and he never complimented me. If I did something, he would always find something that was wrong with it.

"I never thought anything of it and quickly fixed it to please him. I loved Adam but I don't think he ever loved me... About six months after we started dating, he came home drunk from the club quite a few times, I was never invited to go with him, so I stayed home. When he got drunk, he was really short tempered and if I did anything wrong, he would get violent and hit me..." I felt Zayn stiffen under me. His hand stopped rubbing my back but I still went on.

"B-but he was smart when he hit me. He used to hit me where he knew I would cover up the bruises. So he would hit me on my ribs or stomach or upper legs. I told myself that he didn't mean it and he was just drunk, so I didn't tell anyone. He came back from the clubs drunk more and more often, he eventually stopped kissing and hugging me completely. He never called me babe or anything again." I sniffled and Zayn passed the tissues over to me and started rubbing my back again. I smiled weakly at him, he wasn't showing any emotion, just staring at me.

"He grew distant from everyone, but the people he used to go to the club with. And then out of the blue, he invited me to the club with him. I originally turned it down, but he grabbed my wrist really hard and hit me a few times, until I said I would go. That night, he came to my house and gave me a dress to wear. I hated it... It was skin tight and really short, and came down really low at the front. He told me he wanted to show me off at the club. He asked me if I trusted him and I stupidly said yes. So I went wearing the dress.

"At the club, he made me stand by his side for the first hour but he quickly had too much to drink and let me go. I walked around the club aimlessly. I tried to convince Adam to take me home but he said no and turned back to his friends. I stayed in the corner most of the night then a man came up to me and started grinding against me. I-I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. I screamed and Adam heard me. I was scared... Adam walked over to me and I could see the anger in his eyes. He punched the guy out and I thought he really did save me. I ran to hug him and thank him, but he turned around and hit me too. I fell to the ground. He never hit me in a public place. He started yelling at me. Telling me I was a slut and a cheater. I ran out crying. I took my shoes off and ran all the way home, too scared to stop.

A week later I found out that he had been cheating on me. And it was all happening when I let him go to the clubs... The worst part of it was, that when I caught him, he laughed in my face and told me that I deserved it, then to piss off." A tear ran down my cheek.

"He broke my heart real bad. I never told anyone about him hitting me. I just said that he cheated on me and were over." I looked at Zayn, his face showed no emotion. But in his eyes, I saw a lot of emotions, but mostly anger. He stayed silent. "Zayn please say something..."

"I- he- I'm sorry..." I looked at him, confused. "He shouldn't have done that. I should have been there for you. You needed someone and you had no one." Zayn started rambling on. "What if he kept hitting you? What if your friends found out? I'm gonna beat the shit out of him if I ever see him! He has no right to--"

"Zayn!" I said, raising my voice. "It's not about you. It's not your fault. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you..." I whispered.

Zayn caught me off guard and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back to him. I let the tears fall onto his bare chest but he didn't move, just held me as I cried, rubbing my back to calm me. We stayed like that for who knows how long. My tears slowed and stopped, but we still stayed there. Zayn kept his arms wrapped around me tightly, keeping me close to him. And I felt safe. I felt as though for once, everything was ok. Even though I knew he wasn't mine, I felt safe and happy in his arms...

I shouldn't be feeling this way though. This only ever ends in heartbreak.

As my head laid on Zayn's bare shoulder, I raked my eyes over his chest. I gazed at his tattoos and tones abs. I can imagine Dad if I ever went out with a guy like Zayn. Tattooed, famous and hot... I would never be able to see him again!

Well I guess I won't have to worry about that...

Zayn doesn't like me like that...

I sighed and reluctantly lifted my head off his shoulder and sat up straight. "I'm sorry..." I mumbled. Zayn sat up straighter also and just looked at me in confusion.

"Why?"

"For that... I'm usually really good about it... I don't usually crack in front of people... You shouldn't have had to witness that..." I said, my voice barely audible.

"Hey, El, you can't be strong forever. At some point we all crack. We need someone we can talk to. We all need a shoulder to cry on." Zayn said looking in my eyes. I smiled weakly.

"Thanks, Zayn..." I hug him again. I stand up and offer him a hand, which he grabs and attempts to get up. But he ends up pulling me down into of him. I laughed softly as I fell on him. So now Zayn's lying down, with me lying on top of him. I put my hands on his chest and pulled back a little and smiled, and Zayn shrugged and wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me to his side so that my back was to his chest and his arm was wrapped securely around my waist.

"I'm tired..." He mumbled into my hair. I nodded in agreement. Our two bodies fit perfectly on the couch, with just enough room for both of us. As I felt myself slip into unconsciousness, I heard Zayn humming behind me. Perfectly in tune but to no song I know.

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Ok guys sorry its been so long... Iv had school and heaps of homework was due and the teachers are but holes and yeah.....

This chapter was really hard to write, because Ellen is one of my best friends and I don't ever want anything to happen to her!! Ellen if your reading this, I love you, if anything ever happens please tell meeee!! Xxxxxxxxx

You know what to do lovelies

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thanks babes!!

em xx