Do the Dew

Sex Toys Drugs and Rock n Roll

                  

Camila's POV

I walked down to our mailbox this morning with a little extra pep in my step. I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new...toy, for Lauren and I. While we had fun with our purple friend, which Lauren still calls our detachable penis, I wanted to up my game, opting to order a sleek black strapless strap-on off Amazon. You can get anything there apparently...that sneaky little website.

I opened up our mailbox, beaming at the sight of it. Our girls wanted to personalize the standard white mailbox when Sam was 8 and Charlotte was 6, opting to dip their hands in various colors of paint and splatter hand prints all over it, much to the dismay of our neighbors who didn't think a rainbow colored mailbox matched the "atmosphere" of our suburb. It was perfect for us though, and Lauren and I even threw on a couple hand prints ourselves...although I'm pretty sure I remember most of Lauren's prints ending up on the back of my white skinny jeans.

Slipping my hand in I pulled out numerous bills, shaking my head as I remembered back when it was actually exciting to get mail, and then pulled out a little pink slip reading, Item Held At Post Office for C. Cabello-Jauregui. I squealed with excitement as I raced back into the house, grabbing my car keys, before wishing Lauren a quick goodbye and peeling out of the driveway.

I stood in line at the post office, nervously shifting my weight as I hoped Amazon had wrapped my package...inconspicuously. The last thing I needed was Steven, our local postman, knowing what my wife and I got up to. I shuddered at the thought, stepping forward to hand the graying man my slip. I gave him a light smile before he turned and searched for my package. I let out a loud sigh of relief as he placed a large Amazon labelled box on the counter, pushing it towards me as he wished me a good afternoon.

I couldn't wait to get home and unwrap it. My plan was to save my little friend for Lauren and my anniversary that was coming up next month, but honestly my stomach was rippling with so much excitement, I didn't even know if I could wait until tonight to try it out.

Thankfully when I arrived home, the girls were still out at school, so I made my way into the kitchen, bypassing Lauren who was working diligently in our office. I grabbed a knife and cut the tape, eagerly pulling the box apart and diving in, only to be disappointed with the sight. Inside, I did not find my lovely matte black strapless strap on, but rather a hot pink glitter strap on...with straps. Basically my item's do-gooder twin.

I huffed, searching for the receipt in the box so I could phone the company and have this rectified. I had tripled checked my order before placing it, how could the company make such a massive blunder? I mean I'm sure this hot pink eyesore was great, but I had no use for it at this time.

"Aha!" I exclaimed, having located the receipt under mounds of useless tissue paper.  I pulled out the slip of paper, my eyes flitting over the page until stopping, along with my heart, once I reached the name on the order. Charlotte Cabello-Jauregui.

"LAUREN!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, most likely scaring the shit out of my wife. "LAUREN JAUREGUI!!" She wasn't coming fast enough so I grabbed the offending item and ran through the house, into our shared office, grabbing the strap on and throwing it directly in my wife's face in an effort to catch her attention and get my daughter's strap on far away from me.

"WHAT THE FUCK CAMILA!" Lauren yanked out her headphones that had been blocking out my shrill screams. "Why the fuck did you throw this at me?! I could have lost an eye! Are you fucking insane?!" She seethed standing up and slamming the strap on onto her desk.

"Baby..." My lip started to tremble at her tone of voice. I was already fragile as it was. "I um..."

"You what?" She growled. "Why did you throw your strap on at me?"