Moving On (BoyxBoy) UNEDITED

Chapter Five

So, yay for a new chapter. This one is dedicated to the person above because they have an amazing Fanfiction that they are writing as well as other stories. And because of their random disney quotes :D you should check out their stories cause they are amazing.

Zander's POV

The past seems to be something I can't get over no matter how much I try. It's been another month. I finally found a job and lucky for me it's not one of those shitty dead end ones. No matter how many times I try to leave what happened in Alaska behind it just comes back to me. Though I have to say I'm doing much better at not loving Zoey but I still haven't figured out Melody and Jake yet. Actually to be honest I'm still a little mad at Jake for hurting me. I doubt he knows though or maybe he does I don't know. I have no idea what happened after I slammed the door and ran away. I have no idea what's going on there now.



As for Melody I'm not sure I'm all that interested in her. I mean I think I only liked her because in some weird way she reminded me of Zoey and helped me forget about what Jake and I had. Though I'm not sure what Jake and I really had in the end. We both came out empty handed. I really want to call home just to hear the sound of his voice to see if he can explain what happened with him and that girl. But something scares me about calling him. What if something bad has happened that I don't know about?

What if he has no explanation?

What if he's gone?

I had never thought of any of these things when I left. I was too upset to care. Running away from my problems might not have been the best thing for me to do after all.

But I have to stay here for a while just to make sure that my head is clear and I really know what I want. I mean for all I know I could met someone else that might change my life. Besides I'm not ready to go home yet. I can't face my parents at this moment or my friends. There is still too much on my mind. Mostly thoughts about Zoey. I still love her and my love for her still seems to be growing. But it shouldn't because she's dead, she doesn't know who I am and she never did. Her parent's never told her who I was; they let her forget about me. She doesn't know anything we shared or any of the good times we were together. She doesn't know about our love and there's no way for her to. Because she's gone and there's nothing I can do about it.

If I had just gotten there a few minutes sooner she might have lived. But no I didn't because I took my sweet ass time and she died alone because of me. Because I was selfish and left her, I don't deserve to feel love. I can't get over this guilt it's constantly eating at me, tearing me apart. No one needs to deal with being with someone as broken as me. I don't think I'm fixable at least not now. Maybe not ever.