>>Only Human<<

Hold Me

I woke up back on the ship where I belonged. Coda unplugged me from the machine, and suddenly, Stats was at our sides.

"What happened in there?" He was asking me. I floundered for an answer, waiting for Neo to explain.

"Smith... he... he took over Coda... oh man...," I turned to Coda to give him a tight hug, happy to see that he was okay. I didn't realize I had been crying until I pulled back and saw the wet spots on Coda's sweater.

He gently quieted me. Apparently even seeing Smith had caused something in my heart to break in remembrance of my mom.

Neo was woken up next and came over to me. He let me hold onto Coda while he patted my hair soothingly.

"It was a mistake, I should have left you out today," he whispered.

"I gotta get over this," I mumbled to no one.

"No, it was too soon," Neo whispered. "I expected too much of you."

"No, it wasn't you. It was Smith," I countered, not wanting him to feel guilty about what happened. "It was none of our faults."

Neo had his arms wrapped around me tight, like he never wanted to let go. At this moment, I didn't care if Trinity killed me for this. Neo had me in his arms and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Being in the Matrix today, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have gone. I shouldn't have seen it so soon after my mother. The only condolence was that my father would be saved.

Neo picked up a blanket from a bin and wrapped it around me, careful to even cover my legs, even though I couldn't feel them.

I felt like a little kid, but I just wanted to be held. I knew it wasn't strong or brave like the other Redpills, and I wasn't totally in control of my emotions like the others were, but that was because I didn't feel like I was one of them.

In a way, the fact that they were braver than I was seemed to give me an excuse to cry.

I didn't want everyone standing around me, but I knew I couldn't just leave with Coda and Neo there, so I was forced to stay in that seat.

It was one of the times I really cursed now being able to move on my own.

Neo leaned into my ear, noting how I pulled back a few times.

"You want to leave?"

I nodded.

Neo leaned over gently and picked me up, one arm in the crook of my knees, the other around my back. He settled me easily into my chair. As he got the blanket and everything situated, Coda took a knee on my right side and took my hand.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "It wasnt me in there today, but I saw on the screen..."

"Coda, it wasn't you, so don't worry about it," I stopped him, smiling even though I was sad. He smiled a warm smile at me and patted my hand. That kid was good. I wished the world had more of him

Neo started rolling me out of the crowded room, and we passed Morpheus plugged into the Matrix, probably searching for my father. My heart sped up at the sight.

Trinity moved aside to get the door to my cabin, and he expressions changed. Before, she had seemed hostile, but now she just looked sad. She paused to throw the blanket back around my legs where I couldn't reach, and I felt something change.

"Thank you," I mumbled, trying to talk.

She nodded to me, then looked up at Neo before walking away.

Neo took me into the cabin and shut the door, then moved me onto my bed. He started rubbing my legs and digging his thumbs into my calves.

I couldn't feel it, but I knew what he was doing. He was trying to keep the blood from pooling in my legs for too long. I knew they used to do that with coma patients who couldn't move for lone periods of time.