Love Me Like You Hate Me (Edited Version)

Chapter 7

"Whoa- wait!" I tried to wriggle free as panic filled me. Zack pinned my arms above my head and smirked at me. Then he leaned down and bit at my neck, hard. I gasped from the pain and closed my eyes tightly. "Ow...!" I hissed.

With the attraction I felt towards Zack, the feeling of his teeth in my neck didn't really hurt, it actually felt amazing and it was hard not to pull him down for a kiss. However, this wasn't how I wanted my first sexual interaction with Zack to go. Zack didn't seem to care though, and he pulled away to looked for a new place to bite. Picking my shoulder, he sunk his teeth in for the second time, burning my skin with his tongue. I tried to squirm away, the places he'd bitten throbbing in pain and turning me on at the same time. "Zack, stop...! Get off..."

After deciding the mark was deep enough, Zack sat up. He pulled one of my hands towards his lips and gave me a devilish smile. "Does it hurt?" he asked as he nuzzled my palm, his eyes never leaving mine. There was a look in his eye that told me this wasn't a joke to him. He was serious. He licked my palm slowly, making me flinch. It sent shivers down my spine and I looked away. He bite down once again and I cried out, a real shout this time from real pain. He'd broken skin. As blood dripped down my wrist, I suddenly couldn't hold it together anymore. I burst into tears, my sobs just barely audible over the music on the other side of the door.

For a moment, Zack looked shocked. All amusement drained from his face at once and he pulled away. I covered my face with my hands, blood smearing over my cheeks. "Why...? Why do I have to love a jerk like you...?!" I sobbed. "Why couldn't you be like everyone else's crushes...?"

I felt him tense and I didn't understand why until I suddenly realized what I'd said. My sobbing stopped abruptly and I didn't move. Zack tried to pull my hands away from my face. "Erik," he said urgently.

What had I done? I had to get away. Regaining control of my limbs, I pushed him off of me frantically. I could barely look at him as I scramble up and ran out of the room and into the loud, booming music. I heard him calling me, but I didn't look back, racing out of the house and into the street. My head spun with terror as the words that had involuntarily spilled from my lips replayed over and over again in my mind. I told him. I told Zack and now he knew. My legs wobbled like I was standing on Jell-O, but I didn't stop running until my legs started to give way completely. Finally, stumbling into a patch if trees near a park, I collapse on the ground. I cried into my hands, my breath catching in my throat.

I must have cried for a long time, long enough to make my head throb, but eventually, my cries subsided to hiccups as I leaned my weight on a tree. I stared into the distance, my eyes red and glazed over. I had cried out more of my emotions. The silence was calming and I almost felt like falling asleep if my mind hadn't still been reeling from the mistake I had just made. Still, my eyes drooped and I felt myself drifting towards and away from the edge of sleep.

When I opened my eyes for the fifth time, I saw that the sun was had almost completely set. After the fight I had had with my dad, I figured he probably wasn't wondering where I was. It wouldn't have surprised me if he didn't care if I came home or not... I considered just staying there, fantasizing like a child about making a home for myself in the park and never having to go back. However, I knew that was not a realistic solution.

As I sat there, Zack's face appeared in my mind and I had to bite my tongue to keep fresh tears at bay. He knew everything now. Zack finally knew... I could just picture it. Walking into school and getting called a fag, the notes of hatred and rejection from everyone; even the normal people would hate me. I wiped my eyes with my shirt and took a deep breath. He'd tell on me for sure. My high school life, though never great, was officially over. I curled up against the tree as I failed to stop the tears from making new tracks down my cheeks. What was I going to do? Any hope that he'd have misheard me was dashed away from the look he'd given me. He had heard every word loud and clear. No amount of music would have drown those words out.

My mood was beginning to tip back into hysterical, but I decided not to sit there and sob like a child anymore, so I stood up and began making my way home. I hadn't really been watching where I was running before, so as I looked around, I realized I had no idea where I was. I pulled out phone and stared at my dad's contact for a second or two. Then I shook him from my thoughts and went to Maps. I'd find my way home on my own.

As it turned out, I was only a few blocks away from the school so I began walking in that direction, knowing I could find my way home from there. The sun went down slowly as I walked and eventually disappeared behind the tree tops, leaving me behind in the darkness. A cold wind blew by and I hugged myself to keep warm. I wished I'd brought a jacket.

I was nearing my neighborhood, only a few minutes from my house, when a car drove up behind me. When I heard them stop and a door opened, I glanced at it. I tensed as my dad got out and started to hurry towards me. Returning my eyes to the ground, I started walking faster.

"Erik, wait," he called. He caught up to me and grabbed my shoulder. I cringed and place a hand over the bite mark on my neck to hide it before he saw it. My dad pulled me into a hug and I resisted the urge to pull away. I wasn't in the mood to be touched. Unfortunately, my dad didn't noticed. "Don't scare me like that," he said, stroking my hair back. His hands were shaking. "I honestly thought you weren't going to come home."

I hid my bleeding hand behind my back as I held still for my dad. "I was just taking a walk..." I said, praying he would release me.

He pulled away and looked me over, wiping at the blood on my cheeks. "What happened?" he asked.

I didn't meet his eyes. "I tripped and my nose started bleeding," I lied.

He frowned with concern and brought me to the car, telling me to get in. I did as I was told only because I was cold and tired, and I didn't want to walk all the way home. It was easier than fighting with my dad again.

The ride home was completely silent, not a single word was spoken. The awkward air in the car was almost suffocating to breathe and I was relieved when the house came into view. I hurried to get out and go inside, not waiting for my dad to follow. However, as I headed up the stairs to my room, my dad called me to wait. I hesitated, not wanting another confrontation as my dad didn't wait for me to make up my mind, chasing me up the stairs to talk to me. I wouldn't look him in the eye as he shuffled uncomfortably. "I'm sorry about earlier," he said.

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it," I told him, trying to resolve things quickly so I could go to my room.

"No, really. I overreacted and I'm sorry," my dad said again. "I didn't mean to get so mad."

I inwardly sighed in growing frustration. "Dad-"

"I don't know why I said what I did and I feel really bad," he explained. "I want to make it up to you. If we could talk-"

I snapped. "Okay, dad!" I said. I stared at him, angry for an entirely different reason now. "It's fine!" I said. My dad looked surprised and just stared back at me like he didn't know what to say. I realized I had shouted unnecessarily and I ran a hand through my hair. "Sorry, I'm just tired. I'm going to bed," I said.

I didn't wait for him to try and stop me again and quickly walked to my room, taking just a glance back at my dad as I went. He was staring at the floor, hurt and defeat evident on his face. For a second I felt guilty for yelling at him, but I shook my head and slammed my door.

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