When the Rain Stopped Falling (Published under Pop Fiction)

5: Right Place

College is so easy, they say. A lie. That is a very twisted lie. Whoever said that might haven't gone to a real college.

When I was in high school I thought that it was the worse phase I would go through in my entire life and I thought I was done with it. High school dramas are the real deal for teenagers. Bullying, love-hunting, the ultra-fast gossip dissemination, the awkward phase of having a crush, it is the world of teenagers in high school. But lo and behold, college got it too. Only it is more sophisticated because teenagers that go to college are more "intelligent", more "complex in thinking" now, right?

This morning, my first day at my college, I made sure that I arrive early in this building, named Felizardo Building so that I could check out the place some more. Though when I arrived, I went straight to the elevator and pushed the button to the 10th floor. Boarded on the elevator with me were seven other teenagers and for some reason I felt a great tension of competition, or maybe it was just the elevator moving, either of which, it was nerve-wracking. When the doors of the elevator slid open, I saw a vast hall with people moving from one place to another just like the streets outside. Though this time, only young looking people plagued the area. The first thing I imagined was the Cornucopia of the Hunger Games and I should run as quick as possible to hide from these people that might kill me but I was too enthralled. What I witnessed looked like a scene from a movie and as I walked slowly inside the center of the hall which is wittingly designed with a large bronze compass, I felt that I am becoming a part of that scene.

I walked through the floor by following a bunch of students until I arrived at a hallway occupied with rooms across. The doors of the rooms were parallel with each other just like the rooms of my old high school. I exhaled deeply and began to wander around the hallway checking the room number by the side of the door. 1003a. I'm searching for the room 1003a. One by one, I checked the rooms until I found the room 1003a. When I peered inside, a few guys were already there, sitting. I guess I'm not the earliest one to arrive huh?

I took a seat and waited for my class to start until the room was filled with students. Surprisingly, my other classmates seem to know each other before. They were huddling just by my peripheral and I could see them laughing, talking, kidding around. They reminded me of my high school. Sadly not my friends in high school but those people who made my high school some kind of hell. Friends. I rarely keep even one since I find it difficult to have a friend in the first place. Finding one, sure, it could be less difficult but keeping one is the hardest. I'd always knew for sure that my friends wouldn't last long. They would eventually be tired of me, tired of my personality, and they'll leave me. I mean, why wouldn't they? I'm the girl popular by the name emo and who with a normal mind would want a friend like that. So I wanted to have boundaries with my friends. I don't want them to get too involved with me. I guess I don't want to have the feeling I would have when I have great friends because if they suddenly disappeared, if they finally decided that I'm not good enough for them, I don't know how to live without that feeling anymore, the feeling of pure joy, the feeling that everything is goddamn okay- euphoria. I shared this thought with my psychiatrist once and she said that I needed to be brave and that is the part that I don't understand. Brave for what? Brave to be left alone? I don't think that there is hardly enough people who could live by the idea of being alone. I don't want to be left behind because I don't want to be left alone. So what does it have to do with being brave?

The group of friends continued talking with each other. I feel like they are talking about something I don't want to hear. I even caught one girl stealing a glimpse to me then giggling. My heart started to race and my breathing changed a little bit. I grasped the edge of my desk and squeeze on it so hard I could feel my fingers going numb. I know I haven't taken my anti-depressant yet but I never anticipated this relapse. Not a minute longer, a man entered the room wearing what they call a standard business attire: long-sleeves, slacks, and black leather shoes.

"Okay. I'm Mr.," he writes the word "Mr." on the whiteboard with an awful handwriting, "Jason Vilago," he continued writing his name. "Welcome to PI 100,"

My heart nearly stopped when I heard PI 100. This is not my class! I'm in the wrong class. How could that be? I'm sure this is the 10th floor, room 1003a. Then the answer hit me. I checked my phone and saw that I'm an hour early from my true class, Eng 10. What would I do? I'm sure it's not too late if I slipped outside unnoticed right. With the best of my effort, I bowed and ran towards the exit as fast as I could but the professor, Mr. Jason, called my attention.

"Oh, we have a volunteer here." Mr. Jason announced. To my surprise, I was frozen in the middle of the room ready to take my exit. "You're brave huh? So, miss, what's your name?" I can sense the burning stares that pierced through my skin from the people in this class.

"I, I'm not supposed to be in this class," I said honestly. I crunched the bottom of my shirt in angst. A few people in my class laughed. They're laughing at me. I wanted to shut my ears so that I couldn't hear them, I wanted to shut my eyes so that I couldn't see them. I wanted to disappear.

"Okay, miss. Then why are you in this class?" Mr. Jason calmly said. I wanted to answer but my mouth is very stiff from shock. To help explain myself, I gave Mr. Jason the official form of my schedule. "Oh, I get it," he chuckled a little then returned my schedule. "You may go now, miss."

In a heartbeat, I went straight to the door and left the room. I could feel my eyes starting to water. "Oh Elois, you gotta be stronger than that," I said to myself. I could still hear Mr. Jason's voice and curious enough, I continued to listen.

"She's just a freshmen guys, so you gotta be soft on her. I'm actually amused to her since she's so eager to attend class, she arrived here one hour early. Unlucky she, she just doesn't know that we have our class one hour before her class." explained Mr. Jason. The class broke into laughter once again.

"Way to go Elois for ruining your first day of class," I thought. I wanted to get out of these place as fast as I could so I ran aimlessly to find someplace where I could relax that I bumped into someone.

"Hey watch it miss!" the guy that I bumped violently reacted. I looked at him and quickly bowed my head. I noticed that he was reading a book and that gave me an idea where I could go.

"Sorry," I apologized then I continued to run. Thank God we had a campus tour a week ago so I know where the library is. It is in another building so I had to leave the Felizardo Building.

Inside the library, as I expected, turned out to be just a normal library, quiet, full of books, and occupied by students trying to read and study, or someone like me- someone who wants to fade into the silence. Now calm, I realized that even though I went into the right place, the right room, I went in the wrong time and that didn't turn to out be well. But here in the library, I could feel that I'm in the right place and at the right time.