When the Rain Stopped Falling (Published under Pop Fiction)

26: Supposed to Be

Lightning flashed somewhere from afar, and the lowly thunder follows after. Both resonated their dominance. Immediately, I removed my hand from Nikolas's grasp and touched the scars on my wrist. I quite felt dizzy and my eyes started to blur and it was because of the tears welling up.

"No, I would never," I whispered as I think about the horror Nikolas said to me about killing myself

Nikolas shook his head. "I'm still here, Elois. That means you would still commit suicide in the future. Even you say would never do it, the future hasn't changed." I started to breathe heavily, and my heart kept beating heavily out of fear. People almost always misinterpret depression as pure sadness. But fear is the real cause of it. "Elois, listen to me" Someday, depression would win over me. It attacked me on my weakest days. "Elois, listen!" Please stop. Stop. Save me. Please stop. Help. Please. "Elois!"

I stared at Nikolas. He was looking so worried. "Snap out of it, Elois," he said. I didn't realize that sweat started to drip from my face. Nikolas casually wiped it with the table napkin. "I was planning to hide this information to you because I was scared to have that kind of reaction,"

"What you have said, that was the truth?"

"That is my reality, Elois."

"Depression finally won," I covered my mouth as if it would get more real if I say that.

"That's why I'm here Elois. To help you. I'm not gonna lose you anymore. This time, I would be a better husband and I would make sure you're alright and secure. I have something else to tell you but right now, I think I should give you time to digest all of this,"

The monster had visited me in my dream. I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night out of fright. I breathed heavily as I recover from my nightmare. In it, I recalled that the monster I call depression came into a form of a shadow. It has no face but rather just a body as black as the void. He whispered something to me but I couldn't remember it anymore. But I know it's something dreadful. As soon as the words left his tongue, the sound of a weeping baby rattled me. It was so horrible that I woke up from it.

The day with my classes progressed but all I could think about is the tragic future that would come to me. It would be years from now but still. I always thought knowing the time of death in the future could be attributed to something positive. Maybe a way to cheat death itself. But now I realized, it was not. It was more of a scary story. A predestination that would continuously haunt me. For the whole day, I was covering up my scar in my wrist. How could I die from my own hands? How could I let it win? Right now, I can say that. But I know, somewhere within me, it knows the answer.

"Earth to Elois! Is someone out here?" Jasper was playfully poking on my glabella.

"Oh, sorry Jasper. I was just thinking something." Jasper's face contorted to a comforting smile. Like what I said was just usual of me even though he never saw me so pensive like this ever before.

"I think someone's looking blue," Jasper stood from his chair and stood right in front of me. I looked up at him since he was very tall and all. "When times like this come, super cool Jasper the great performer would give a pretty lady like you a chance to witness his mind-boggling hair-raising performance." Even with all the people around, Jasper surprised me when he started to sing out loud and wiggle his body like an earthworm dabbed with salt which I assume that he was trying to dance.

Oh my, Oh my,

Someone is looking blue

A dance, A dance

Is all we have to do,

Place your left foot then wiggle it around

Try to make a fool