Dark Song (Mature HS)

17

Harry doesn't look good. He's frantic and nervous, my hand reaching for his cheek. He leans towards me and I crawl in his lap. We've gotten dressed and his torso remains shirtless, his arms wrapping around me tightly.

"Please, just understand me," he whispers, my thumbs brushing his cheeks. I kiss his forehead, his head leaning down.

"It's all the past," I say, his lips releasing a deep sigh.

"All I want to tell you is I did drugs. A lot of them. My body had to be flushed out multiple times. Plus, alcohol was present and that was fucking shit," he says, my hands brushing his hair back.

"You're healthy now. It's okay," I try, his eyebrows frowning.

"I ruined someone's life," he says, my lips pressing to the frown between his eyebrows.

"I punched the shit out of this guy who didn't follow through with a deal and he nearly died. He has to be on oxygen now, struggling to breathe because I didn't get what I wanted. I'm such an asshole, Lennon," he says, my heart breaking for him.

"I've never cared about anything and that's what makes me shit. I don't deserve it," he whispers, my heart hurting for him.

"You deserve what you have now. I'm here for you," I tell him, his eyes close in pain.

"All my life I've gotten shit grades, shit drunk, did drugs, and I fucking hated relationships. Now I-I have you and I don't think I've ever needed something more. I'm stable, carrying on in good health. You are making me better," he says, my heart racing.

"You are doing fine," I tell him, his hands gripping my shirt. "I accept you for who you are and all that you are. It's okay."

His eyes close again and he leans his head down, my lips pressing to the top of his head. I grab his chin and pull him back up, his eyes closed but cheeks pink.

"I know you must be dealing with so much in your mind, but open your eyes and look at me," I plead, his lips frowning. My thumb brushes his chin and he brushes his nose against mine, his eyes meeting mine.

"Can I tell you my story?" I whisper, his head nodding lightly.

"I have always received the rich girl comments because of my father. I've worked for so much just to get that to go away. Most of my relationships ended because I realized they either wanted money or fame. It hurts to find that out. You have nothing to worry about because we all have pain and regrets, Harry. But nothing could ever make me go away," I say, taking a deep breath.

"Because of my feelings," I let out, his eyes focused dead set on me.

It's the thought I had this morning when I left. It hurt and I thought about my feelings. I think it's love, but I want to just let him know so I don't scare him when I let it out, probably out of nowhere.

"What, angel? You can trust me," he says, taking my hands away and moving his hands to mine.

"Len," he whispers, my lower lip taken between my teeth. The words are caught in my throat in fear and he kisses my cheeks, his lips soft.

His head moves back and I see how serious he is, my eyes flickering to look up at him. My eyes are soft and I grab his wrists, his lips parting.

"Len, please tell me you didn't- Len, is it...is it love?" he asks, my hands tightening.

"Angel," he pleads, my eyes meeting his.

When I finally gather my courage, his head leans closer and he kisses my cheek.

"I think I am," I breathe out, his lips parting.

"Just please, don't worry about it. I don't mind...if you don't feel that way. It's-" but soft lips on mine cut me off, his kiss perfectly timed. He pulls away and I bite my lower lip as an immediate response, his green eyes closed as he leans his forehead on mine.

"I'm going to worry about it. You are my top priority. Please...hang in there. I'm still new at this, figuring everything out," he tells me, his hands still warm on my cheeks.

"I've never loved anyone," he whispers, my eyes flickering to meet his. I don't know what to do right now so I look down, closing my eyes. I've literally put my feelings out there and I don't know what his reaction will be yet. He's still trying to wrap his mind around everything.

"Fuck, is that what I'm feeling?" he asks, my heart stopping. I look up and his eyes meet mine, my lips parting as he moves closer.

"Don't rush into this," I plead, his eyes only softening.

"Lennon, I don't know what to say," he says, my hands tightening around his wrists.

"Then...don't say anything at all," I beg, not wanting to be hurt. I've claimed I love someone before and he left me standing there like a fool. I was so hurt and all I want is for Harry to understand I feel like this is love. He can't run.

He parts his lips and I shake my head, leaning my head down. But Harry lifts it back up and sets his lips on mine. Just as I asked, he doesn't say a word and only kisses me. He holds me close and doesn't let me go the rest of the night.

Harry.

I wake up alone. The one thing I absolutely hate is waking up alone without Lennon. She makes my mornings brighter and all I can think about was how horrified she was last night. I know I was nervous explaining myself, but I didn't expect her to tell me that she thinks she loves me. In my mind I've always thought I'm the most unlovable person, but she...she might love me.

My hand runs through my hair and I grab a tie from my table, pulling it back. I walk downstairs and hear the soft clanking of pans, my eyes taking in the sight of the beautiful girl. Her fingers are placing muffins on a platter and her long legs are on show due to my shirt exposing that part of her body.

Everything seems okay, but I know she's got thoughts circling her mind. She's a master at overthinking everything, but I can't have her thinking I don't feel something towards her. I do, hell I'd be a fool if I didn't, but I have no idea what it is.

As I walk closer to her, I grab her waist and she jolts. It makes my heart clench and I bury my nose in her hair, kissing her head.

"Please tell me your thoughts," I whisper, moving my head into her neck. She's not that short so I get to do this without over-arching my back. Lennon is the perfect match.

"I don't know what to think," she admits, my fingers brushing her hair to the side before I wrap my arms tightly around her.

"Then what are you afraid of?" I ask, her lips releasing a sigh.

"I-I had something happen to me when I was eighteen. That...it can't happen again," she says, my eyebrows frowning.

"Lennon, if you think I don't feel the same about you, you're wrong," I say, her body stilling.

"Just...stop talking please," she rushes, my eyebrows furrowing.

"What did he do?" I state, pulling away from her. She sheepishly looks up at me and I grab her cheek, her eyes closing. "What did a man say to you that made you fear this?"

Her head turns away but I reach and grab her cheeks, the little tears falling from her eyes making me nervous.

"He didn't say anything," she chokes out, my hands brushing the tears away. "H-He didn't say it back...walked away. I didn't want to love again."

I gulp, horrified that she thinks that I'll do the same. It hasn't been said, but it's highly inferred. She just shakes her head and walks to leave the kitchen, my feet quick to follow her. My hands grab her waist and I tug her into my body, lifting her into me. She wraps her arms around my neck and cries, my arms wrapping around her tightly.

"I hope that you don't run from me like that again," I whisper, leaning down and gripping her thighs. I lift her up and she wraps her legs around my waist, my hands then holding her back. Her blonde locks hide her face as she clings to me, my feet walking back to set her on the counter so I can look at her.

"Lennon, angel," I say, lifting her head to get her to look at me. "I can't do that. I can not ever walk away. If I did, I'd lose my mind and more importantly...I'd lose you. I'm not going to leave you if it means I lose the one thing that brought me back to life."

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