Broken

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With one hand ,he points at his feet. His fingers are whiter than I remember.
I do as he says.
I kneel.

____________
I have lost my sense of time. Every moment, every heart beat, every breath ,It was all pain. The pain I never felt before.
The clicking of the machine meant more pain,but when I was thrown back into my cell , I felt like I have been pardoned and they let me stay there, until the pain lessened.
It's not The Bowl of Bones with its gray-blue stones at least as I remember it but wherever this is ,it's filled with silent stone.
I never reach for my lightening,feeling too weak to breath ,let alone tire myself in that way.
I just wait,until Maven finally lets go of my leash.
And lets me die.
But something deep down tells me, this life,this misery,this pain,will last for a long time.
I hear footsteps . I know it's time for another session of pain. The time I have spent counting every click of the machine flashes by my eyes. I flinch in fear.
The guards drag me out on the floor. They don't try to make me walk because they know I can't. They just drag me roaring words such as'Move you pussy dog' or 'filthy puppet '.
I close my eyes. They drag me along and I feel the collar around my neck,so tight I wonder why I'm not already choking to death ,and the chain makes sounds with every step,reminding me of who I am.
Who I was forced to become. No.
Who I always was.
Nothing more than a dog chimes in my head.
Another door opens and I feel fear rise within me. It's time again.

"Aren't you going to open your eyes ,Mare?"
My heart stops.
I open my eyes.
Maven's sitting on his throne. The room is not the one with the machine in it. It's the one I've been in before. It's where Tiberias the sixth was killed.
And I was betrayed.
A cold smile rests on his lips. His eyes looking at me thoughtfully like he's assessing if I have suffered enough . He looks down at me from his father's old throne ,the silver marks of course have been robbed off completely so no one can ever know how Maven began his reign.
"Do you want me to kneel down, again?"I ask.
He laughs bitterly. His voice makes my skin crawl. For a moment I mistake him for his father.  The same feeling of mixed hate and fear I had for him when I was a little red girl.
"I wouldn't mind it."he smirks.

I kneel down .
I have lost my pride,my dignity.
There's nothing more than a empty shell in me.
He smiles and with a flick of his fingers,the guards leave.
We're alone.
"You're not afraid I rip you to pieces then? "I snarl. My tongue moving too quick for me to stop it.
Stupid girl.
Why can't you just shut up?!
How many people will die because you can't just shut your mouth and stay down?
He snickers to my disbelief. "Rip me to pieces ,Mare."he suggests, raising an eyebrow . He's intrigued.
I blink for a moment too long before tilting my head,silently saying I won't fight him.
If I do anything ,not only it will be completely useless,he will make me regret it. He will.
"Please Mare. I assure you,It will have no consequences on my behalf."He challenges.
I can kill him.
I can just electrocute him.
He's a man of his word. He said he wouldn't punish me for it.
I'm sure my lightening is in there somewhere.
I clench my jaw,forcing my body to give me the sparks I need. I force my hands to light up but I feel a sharp pain racing through them . The harder I try ,the worst the pain becomes. I give up,letting go with a yelp of pain.
He laughs hardly,"I told you it won't have consequences on MY behalf. Not your own body."he states,pleased to see the agony in my face.
I'm feeling this much pain because of my lightening and it's not even there to save me anymore.
"You really thought that thing around your neck is there solely to remind you of who you are?"he scoffs. His laughter making goosebumps appear on my skin.

"What do you want from me ,Maven?
What do you want to force me to do to?" I blurt out.

He smiles."You will do it on your will. You will bring Cal to me on a stick on your own will."
I don't challenge him.
I don't tell him that there's nothing he can do to make me do that.
He can hurt me all he want.
But from the straight look I give him,he smiles walking toward me from his throne.
"You think I can't do it ,don't you?"the dark smile never fades.
One of the permanent new features of his face that sends a shiver down my spine.
He kneels down before me,still taller and I have to lift my chin to meet his blue eyes.
He moves his hand forward. He traces the metal of the chains attached to my neck,remembering when I knelt down before him, he let's go of the chain slowly near my neck,reaching to my collarbone from the loose collar of my torn bloody shirt. His fingers trace the lines that form an M . My brand.
I want to scream at his touch. It burns. It hurts. It blinds me.
He continues to examine it with his fingers,aware that his touch is a torture to me,"You remember who gave you this?"he whispers.
"You remember who owns you?"
You don't own me ,Maven,I want to tell him.
But as feeling this pain becomes unbearable,I tell him the answer he wants . Maybe he stops the pain.
"You"I say.
He smiles deeply,nodding his head.
"I thought you being stubborn was intriguing, I have a hard choice now though."he says pulling away to retreat to his throne, a crocked smile on his face.
"Obedience suits you better."
I want to cry.

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