Double Crossbow (Daryl Dixon) [The Walking Dead]

Chapter 9 ↣ What was I doing?

"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

— Johnny Depp

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Kathryn

WHY DID I feel the need to say that? I placed a hand to chest, as if the pressure would halt the rapid palpitations that lived just beneath my skin. When I broke through the clearing into the campsite, I knew I needed a distraction. Looking around, I knew that there was no one here I could tolerate except for one.

I plopped down across the table from him. "Hey, bud, anything new and exciting?"

Carl motioned for me to come closer. Placing my elbows on the table, I leaned forward. "If I ask you something, will you promise not to be mad?"

"Sure, but I don't promise to answer the question."

The small boy contemplated my response before placing his own elbow on the table—his pinky finger outstretched towards me. "You have to pinky promise," Carl said, holding out his pinky.

I rose an eyebrow. "A pinky promise? What's that?" Carl started laughing. He then reached for my hand, causing me to jump slightly. "Sorry," I mumbled. Carl grinned, and he took my hand again, this time without me jumping.

"A pinky promise is the biggest promise of them all," he started. "You can never break it, and if you do, you get extra bad luck. So, you just wrap your pinky around someone else's," Carl's small finger wrapped around mine, "and you say 'I pinky promise'."

He looked up at me, expectantly. "Oh. I pinky promise."

His smile grew as he unwound our fingers. "Are you and Daryl boyfriend and girlfriend?"

I was pretty sure I flatlined there for a second. So much for a distraction. When I finally snapped back, I quickly said, "No. No, we're not."

Carl's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am one hundred percent positive."

"That's weird because he looks at you like Dad looks at Mom."

My mouth fell slack, and Carl continued to look at me with confusion. "Well, uh, I-I don't know how to respond to that."

Before anything else could be said, Carol called us over for dinner. A few moments had passed before Carl proudly announced to the whole group, "I taught Kathryn how to pinky promise."

Everyone's eyes flickered to me, including Daryl's. I tried especially hard to ignore his gaze. "You didn't know how to make a pinky promise?" Lori asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah, I didn't realize that your pinky was a supreme promise keeper. I guess you learn something new everyday." Sometimes they're things you'd be better off not knowing. There were a few chuckles among the group and soft chatter followed suit.

"Kathryn," Carl said from my side. I looked down at him. "That's the look."

I subtly glanced over at Daryl. The second I caught his eye, he looked down. I then looked over to Rick and Lori. No, there was no way. Rick's blue eyes were full of love and admiration as he looked over at his wife. I could only dream of someone giving me that look. Looking back down at Carl, I shook my head slightly. "I don't think so, bud."

Carl huffed, but didn't say anything else. Shane cleared his throat, causing us to look over at him. "I've been thinking about Rick's plan. Now look, there are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that. I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning. Okay?"