After Luke had left me in the kitchen, breathless and confused, I walked upstairs to see Michael and Calum playing a riveting round of FIFA. Luke disappeared after our kiss.
Our kiss. I'm going to have to tell Calum, but I don't know how. I never saw myself as the cheating kinda girl. Calum and I have only been dating a couple of weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do.
When the weekend ends, for the first time in what seems forever, I talk to Hannah. Nothing big, yet, but just small talk and catching up. I would assume we carried on like nothing happened. I didn't tell her about the kiss. I can't trust her that much yet. She's still acting pretty shady. She's hiding something, I know it.
Calum and I are still okay. I haven't told him yet. I don't think Luke has either. At lunch, I sit with their little group, everyone but Luke talks to me. Ever since our kiss he's been very quiet. He barely talks to anyone. Once in a while I see him staring at me with his baby blue eyes. But when I look at him, he looks away or disinterested.
He is very confusing. I shouldn't even be worrying about him. I have a boyfriend for fucks sake! I shouldn't have boy problems either. This is too much.
I mean when it all started at that damn party that Hannah dragged me into. Maybe I could ask Michael about it. But he isn't too friendly with me.
I just want to crawl into a hole that has the necessities; Netflix, bathroom, pantry full of junk food, and wifi. I'm set for the rest of my life! I don't need to worry about anything. Just which show am I going to binge watch next.
When I get home, I sit on my bed, reflect my life choices, and sigh. A huge ass exasperated sigh. I mean just huge. My frustration has no limits right now. The kiss and Luke and Calum and the party and that guy! I mean, might as well just commit social suicide by approaching my boyfriend and saying, "Oh, yeah by the way, Luke and I kissed and I kind of liked it, I got super drunk at this party and there was a guy who I didn't know who he was and decided to make out with him and almost fuck him, and I'm very conflicted." He would probably laugh and dump me right there and Luke would be right behind him.
Fuck. My. Life.
