i never really hated you (rewritten)

chapter 23

Dans p.o.v

The sheer beauty of last night had faded away and the horror of real life has returned.

I woke up to 5 texts from, I'm guessing, my mum or dad. They said

'I know where you live.'

'Run, run and never come back.'

'If death is your wish, then I can make that come true.'

'We are going to get you.'

'Call the police if you want everyone dead. Just kill yourself. '

I was used to the hate comments of just kill yourself, I mean everyone on YouTube has a hater. Ignoring them is key. but these.. these cant be ignored. I really want to call the police but I know they will kill phil and killing phil will kill me and i will be blamed for his death. His family will hate me, then they will kick me out the house. With all the thoughts in my head I forgot to go down to breakfast,lunch and I believe it was nearly dinner. Boy time goes quickly when you want to just get things over with and when you a consumed by your own thoughts.

"Dan, can we make the coming out video yet. " I heard a concerned phil say from outside my door. I say nothing, saying things will make it worse.

"Dan,...Dan please talk to me. " The tone of phils voice was heart breaking, he sounded desperate, like he needed me. i couldn't leave him out there alone.

"Sure. " I replied and slowly walked to me door.

Once we had made the video, I asked phil to post the video for me and him and with out question he agreed. He didn't ask questions but i wish he did.

The ideas I had to make sure that everything is alright for the future, these all lead to me being dead. If that's what it takes to save those around me, then that's what I'll do. I believe that the life of my boyfriend is more important than mine. Plus he will be fine, he has our friends to look after him and they will all help each other.

"Phil I am Just going for a walk. I need to clear me head. Bye Mrs lester" I say, then I'm out the door. I felt like someone was following me the whole way to where i was going.

Where I was going was a bridge above a huge lake, it gave me a clear view of a beautiful city in a cruel world. I stood at the edge of the bridge watching lights fade, towns glow and stars shine. I prayed to my guardian angel to look after phil, i didn't believe i had one but if i did, phil should have him. i said my goodbyes that would never be heard, then... I jumped. As I fell I heard a voice that I did not want to hear when committing suicide, this was phils. I heard only mumbles before everything went black, and all i could think of was at least phil and Mrs lester will be safe.

Phils p.o.v

Oh my gosh... Dan jumped he actually jumped, i was too late to stop him. I want to save him, no I'm going to save him. So for his life, time to sacrifice mine. Its how love works, at least i know i probably won't die. i walked to the edge of the lake and dived and swam briskly to where dan was. The lake was cold and murky but i knew where dan was. i got to the part where he was last and dived underwater, i couldn't see his face but i could see his hand. I grabbed it and pulled him up.

The surface was in sight, my breath running out but I made it for Dan. I swam to ground, as I got to the surface i laid him on the ground and fully examined him. His face was cold and his lips where turning blue. He  had a cut above his eyebrow and his skinny jeans were ripped, underneath the rips he ad scratches. Dan why did you do this.

"Ive called the ambulance." I heard a voice say snapping me fro my thoughts

"Thank you." i Said as i lay down on the ground next to Dan

"No, no you can't sleep you could have concussion or som.." I didn't hear the rest as i was too tired to stay awake. If Dan is okay i know i can sleep.