Nah Mate, I'm Gay

Chapter 3: Boku No Piss Off

Frank Ieros first day of school wouldn't exactly be on the Top Ten Best Days of Frank Ieros Miserable Life list because, despite all of the effort that he took in avoiding that stupid fucking mass of red hair, he still managed to end up in the same math class as it. And on top of that, he was placed right next to the stupid fucking mass of red hair.

However, Frank Ieros first day of school wouldn't exactly be on the Top Ten Worst Days of Frank Ieros Miserable Life list either because, despite all of that other shitty stuff that was happening with the stupid fucking mass of red hair, his first friend was placed within a couple of feet from him. He wouldn't work in her group or anything, but it was nice to know that there was someone that was on his side for a change.

For some reason, every single damn person he had met was in love with Gerard fucking Way. People were swooning over him, kissing the very ground he walked on like he was some damn god. The only other person that hated Gerard besides Frank was Jamia Nestor, who, thank God, was in most of Frank's classes.

"Hey Gerard!" Lindsey called, waving her hand wildly.

"Hey Linds!" Gerard winked, successfully causing Lindsey to die right then and there.

"Oh please." Frank heard Jamia mutter. He turned around and gave her a funny look.

"I'll tell you after school." Jamia mouthed, seeing as class had already started and it wasn't her job to interrupt it.

No, that was the stupid fucking mass of red hair's job.

***

"You want me to what?" Ray asked, baffled, though, he should already be used to the stupid fucking mass of red hair and the shit he pulls.

"I want you to Boku No Pico and chill with me." Gerard repeated, dead serious.

"What the fuck does that even mean?"

"Ugh, I want to watch Boku No Pico and I have to talk to you about you-know-who, so I decided that we should totally Boku No Pico and chill." Gerard was completely confused as to why he even had to explain himself.

"Okay two things. One: What the fuck is Boku No Pico? And two: Who the hell is you-know-who?"

"Ya know, him."

"Gerard Arthur Way do you know how many 'hims' there are in this damn world?"

"Ugh, it's Frank, okay?" Gerard sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"Which one's Frank, again?"

"Fucking hell, he's the new emo kid!"

"Oh, oh yeah, yeah I know who you're talking about. But that still doesn't answer my first question." Ray was starting to get very frustrated with his 'best friend', but honestly, who could fucking blame him?

"It's that one anime with the kids fucking each other-" Gerard began, already very disappointed that his 'best friend' did not know what Boku No Pico was.

"Oh fuck no! I remember that shit from when I walked in on you jacking off to it!" Ray exclaimed, rubbing his eyes, trying to get that image out of his head.

"Oh my God, do not be rude to Pico and Chico like that I swear to God I will punch you in the throat." Gerard genuinely threatened to punch Ray in the throat because of some anime children that were way too horny for their age.

"Gerard please don't protect small children that fuck each other." By now, Ray was rubbing his temples, seeking to rid himself of this migraine, the pain of which ranged from up, down and sideways.

"Chico is my baby boy, you piece of shit! So you can just Boku No Piss Off!" Gerard huffed, immediately proceeding to push Ray out of his room and lock the door.

"What the fuck is wrong with your brother?" Ray asked Mikey as he was making his way to his room.

"I've been asking myself that for years, Ray." Mikey sighed, shaking his head as he closed his bedroom door behind him.

***

"You like Lindsey, of all people?" Frank asked, his mouth wide open, open enough for a certain stupid fucking mass of red hair to do the do, if you're getting what I'm putting down, or what Gerard is putting in.

"Shut up!" Jamia threw a pillow across her room and directly into Frank's face, causing him to fall out of his chair and onto his ass.

"Oi, watch it, Nestor!"

"Oi yourself, Oreo!" Jamia didn't even bother with the correcr pronunciation of Frank's last name because fuck that noise and shit.

"But why Lindsey?" Frank was genuinely confused because, and I know that this may be hard to believe, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed nor was he the brightest crayon. Well, obviously he wasn't the brightest crayon because that would, like, totally ruin his emo-ness, and nobody wants that.

"I've known Lindsey my whole life, we were always in the same classes and so we would hang out with each other. When we got into high school, though, we had like no classes together. That's when she started becoming who she is now. I started liking pre-high school Lindsey and now I just can't stop." Jamia sighed, throwing herself onto her bed.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, at least you don't have Gerard Way trying to get in your bed." Frank tried, he really did, to make Jamia feel better. However, he should've known that mentioning Gerard Way would have the opposite affect on Miss Nestor.

"And don't even get me started on Gerard fucking Way! He thinks that he can just walk around, playing with people's hearts, and can get away with it! He's slept with Lindsey more times than I think either of them could count, has flirted mercilessly with her, yet is chasing you as if she has never meant anything to him. And on top of that, the first time he knocks on your door he asks you to fuck him?! What the hell is his problem?" Jamia groaned, then proceeded to roll off of her bed, thinking that she was rolling herself out of existence. It was a ridiculous delusion, but a very nice one at that.

Frank sat on the ground, completely at a lost for what to do. His best friend had just rolled herself 'out of existence' and was laying on the ground, complaining about how shit Lindsey and Gerard were. Then, an idea came to Frank, an idea so big that you would have thought that after twelve years it was going to leave with just one paragraph on its website.

"Fuck it."

"What?" Frank had succeeded in getting Jamia Nestor to sit up and look at him, at least.

"Just fuck it, like, why are we here contemplating everything while Gerard is probably watching hentai and Lindsey is probably getting her brains fucked out of her? We should just, like, go somewhere, like a party or a club or some shit like that. Just fuck it, you know?" Frank had stood up by now, unable to contain his own 'fuck it' ness.

"How about we go up to the roof with some alcohol and be complete idiots?"

"Fuck it, let's go!" Jamia and Frank were a little bit too excited about going something around forty feet in the air while being piss drunk, but you know, fuck it.

*A/N: Hello my lovelies! YES I KNOW IM SORRY THIS IS SOO LATE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IM SORRY! I've had this chapter written for literally the past month and I barely finished it right now. Alright so that's the last time I promise any type of schedule since I'm obviously too busy/good at procrastinating to even think about keeping it. Ah well, here it is anyways.

Till next time,
Zowie