Nah Mate, I'm Gay

Chapter 5: Poor Lost Robotic Moose

When Frank Iero clocked into work at twelve o'clock in the afternoon, he had no idea that he would be talking to Gerard Way dressed in drag.

Well, even as he was talking to Gerard Way dressed in drag, he had no idea that it actually was Gerard Way dressed in drag. Frank Iero thought he was talking to Evangeline Avenue anyone would be able to fully understand Gerard Way's train of thought, just saying.

Anyways, Evangeline Avenue had been waiting outside of the music store a couple of blocks away from her house since six in the fucking morning, hoping that a certain emo midget would walk his cute ass down the street and into the sketchy-but-not-quite-ghetto music store. However, as already stated, it wouldn't be until twelve o'clock in the afternoon that the certain emo midget would walk his cute ass down the street and into the sketchy-but-not-quite-ghetto music store.

But as soon as he did, Evangeline was all over that shit. She casually strolled into the sketchy-but-not-quite-ghetto music store and casually walked up and down the aisles and casually looked through the many CDs in the store as she tried to casually get Frank's attention.

However, she actually looked like a lost robotic moose had stumbled into the very high class music store to Frank. He took pity upon the poor lost robotic moose's soul and decided to go ask if she needed any help.

This worked perfectly in Evangeline's favor, and so she silently patted herself on the back for her acting skills and promised herself that she would contact an agency so that her new career as an actress can start as soon as possible.

"Excuse me, miss, can I help you with anything?" Frank cautiously asked the poor lost robotic moose, since he had read on the internet to never scare a moose because they can go berserk on you. Or was that reindeers? Whatever, he wasn't going to be taking any chances.

"Oh, well, actually I just couldn't decide what to buy and I was wondering what you would suggest?" Evangeline had a surprisingly feminie voice for actually being a cross dressing guy. This was just even more reason to become an actress. However, no one was there to cast her in a lead role in a giant movie or even compliment her voice since she was the only one to actually know the truth. Frank had no idea what was happening, except for the fact that a teenage girl that acted like a lost robotic moose was asking for a music suggestion.

"Oh, um, which ones were you debating about?"

"I couldn't decide on Dookie by Green Day or Enema of the State by Blink-182. Which one do you think I should buy?" That was the final blow to securing Evangeline and Frank's friendship.

***

However, it wasn't for another two weeks that Evangeline and Frank hung out outside of the sketchy-but-not-quite-ghetto and very high class music store. Gerard had beginning to become impatient and decided to finally ask Frank to get some coffee with him, or her, or them, whatever.

He had ultimately said yes after a very awkward conversation about how she was a very nice person but he just didn't swing that way and then her reassuring him that she didn't swing that way either. It was followed by some nervous laughter and then finally a yes on Frank's part.

"So you like Green Day?" Frank asked as they sat down at a random booth after they had both grabbed their coffees, because that was the most important thing ever.

"Yeah, but I mainly got into them because of my cousin. He actually lives not too far from here." Evangeline commented, not forgetting her mission.

"Oh really? What's his name? I might know him." Frank asked, taking a heavenly sip of the most important coffee.

"Gerard Way." Now, as you can imagine, this surprised Frank a great deal, surprised him enough, actually that he spit out his coffee all over Evangeline. And while Evangeline was hoping for some sort of huge reaction, this was definitely not what she had in mind.

"Oh my ass, I am so sorry!" Frank yelped, jumping up to help wipe the most important coffee off of Evangeline.

"Oh, don't worry about it! I hated this blouse anyways, and besides, now I can go shopping!" Gerard was actually quite excited about going shopping as Evangeline, because he had grown rather fond of more feminine-type clothing.

"Well, let me go shopping with you and buy you a new blouse. That's the least I can do."

"Well, I mean I guess. Plus, it'll be nice getting to know someone from around here. I'm kinda new to this town, and Gerard is too busy with community service and just being a generally good guy in society to show me around." Evangeline was just pouring it on thick, but Frank, again, having no idea what was actually going on, believed every word she said wholeheartedly, because why would she lie?

"Wow, really? He didn't seem like that kind of guy to me..." Frank was having a hard time processing the fact that Gerard would do anything for anyone besides himself.

"Well, he never really tells anyone about it, but he's actually a really good guy." Evangeline humphed, taking complete offense in what Frank was saying about her, or well, him, that was also her...you know what? Forget it let's move on.

"Well, uh...let's go get you that new blouse, yeah?" Frank felt like he had struck a cord in Evangeline, so he quickly, and wisely, changed the subject.

"Yes! Let's go, slow ass!" Evangeline had shot up as soon as Frank mentioned shopping and was already half way out the door.

"Alright, alright! I'm coming." Frank sighed.

"Oh, how I wish it was a different kind of coming." Evangeline grumbled.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, let's go!" And with that Evangeline whisked Frank away to the closest mall, telling him all the good and totally true things about Gerard.

*A/N: HELLO MY LOVELIES I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SOOO LATE AND SHORT! I just haven't had any motivation, I guess to keep writing and I really wanted to get something out to you. So here you go and hope you enjoy :)

Till next time,

Zowie